Growing up, I never liked working within teams. Negative experiences at school and early jobs I held marred my judgment and frequently curbed my enthusiasm to collaborate. I am a type A personality, a very hard worker and a perfectionist at heart – I always expect high quality. Working with others who didn’t take their project/tasks seriously, or slacked off and didn’t produce, made it difficult for me to enjoy teamwork. As a result, I felt like I was being taken advantage of, and once adulthood arrived, I was quick to seek employment where I could work independently.
It wasn’t until I joined the Celestine Prophecy communities on Facebook and became a group administrator that I realized how amazing a team can really be. It was there that I learned about circular leadership, Starhawk’s group roles, and how each person’s unique talents can make a team more effective and harmonious.
Implementing the Eighth Insight was paramount in my growth. I learned more about communication skills in three years than I had over my entire life. Not only has it helped me with my profession, but it is also creating awareness in other areas of my life with family and friends, as well as social situations.
Since I have started studying the Enneagram and learning the deeper meaning behind behavior, I am gaining more understanding and compassion for all the people in my life, both personally and professionally. What’s even better about the Enneagram is that I can see how unique we all are, the talents each of us naturally bring into the world, and what motivates us towards bringing out the best of who we are.
From this, the latest lesson arising for me is the collective need for Transparency in our relationships and communication. When problem solving, I’ve found that any lack of transparency makes it harder to know important facts. Reaching a solution to produce a desired win-win result becomes greatly hindered. The result is that usually there remains unresolved issues, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and the inability to move on.
Wikipedia states that Transparency (pertaining to human behavior) implies openness, communication, and accountability. I’ve personally found that employing transparency allows us to have connected, authentic relationships that limit the instances in which we experience Control Dramas and distrust. I’m finding these genuinely transparent relationships enhance my ability to grow and maintain my overall health, balance, and joy in interactions with others. Because of this dramatic change in my life, I would like to share with you what I’ve learned, in case this awareness can also benefit you.
Here are five things that occur when we have transparency in our relationships:
1. You are being true to yourself
It is so important that we all show our real selves to those around us. More often than not, we shelter parts of ourselves in fear of what others may think. Hiding things we don’t like causes resistance in us and, as this festers, we become unhealthy emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Accepting our shadow side allows us to cultivate compassion for ourselves as we process negative emotions when they arise. Forgiveness helps us to grow through our struggles, making us stronger and wiser.
Appreciating our uniqueness allows us to nurture the relationships we invest in. We recognize that we each bring something different to the table, and as we come together, we make the perfect whole. Consistency in our character and our values encourages others to feel safe in our presence: they know what to expect of us, they understand our boundaries, and trust naturally develops.