We continue to learn how humans use power and control in relationships to gain security, as humans primarily feel lost and insecure in the world. Instead of seeking security through the connection with the Divine Mind we call God, we have found it by force.
When we gain insight into our conflicts, we understand and resolve more than our day-to-day personal disagreements. We grasp the long-term secret of how to end conflicts of all kinds.
When it comes to familial relationships (some of the most important relationships in our lives), we see the reality is that family relationships endure conflict just like other relationships will. Some family relationships will even end due to these disagreements. A shared familial bond does not mean family relationships are immune to strife. However, if family members make an effort to improve their relationships and work out disagreements, they can enjoy lasting happiness in their relationships with each other.
One of the first things to keep in mind when understanding family relationship problems is that a relationship involves two people. This is two people with their own thoughts, desires, emotions, and opinions. Between any two people, there is always potential for conflict. No one agrees on everything all the time. How people handle these inevitable conflicts will determine the stability of their relationship with each other.
The Key is Communication
Many people hate dealing with conflict. They don’t like possibly upsetting someone else or being upset themselves. They’re scared that expressing their true feelings will hurt the other person’s feelings or alter the relationship forever. These people simply avoid communicating their feelings in a direct way, opting instead to be passive aggressive or to bottle up their feelings, which will result in a blow up later. While eschewing conflict for false peace might be comfortable in the short term, it will have negative consequences in the long term, especially in a familial relationship.
No matter how uncomfortable it may feel, family members should always talk to each other when they’re upset with each other. It’s much easier to work out a disagreement, or at least come to a compromise when the two people in the relationship are open and honest with each other. It’s not worth damaging or even losing a treasured family relationship just because one or both family members find it difficult to approach each other about disagreements.
When engaged in an argument, both people usually think they’re right and that the other person is wrong. Obviously, both people can’t be right. Unless the conflict is exceptionally simple, “right” usually falls somewhere in between, and both people need to compromise with each other. Conflicts of beliefs and ideas are almost never solved by one person doing a complete 180 and coming over to the other person’s side. The important thing for family members to realize is that they should love and respect the other person even when they disagree.
The Truth About Your Family Relationships
Family members sometimes feel as if they don’t owe each other the same respect as they would someone to whom they aren’t related, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Family members should be treated with as much respect as anyone else. People should never operate under the assumption that just because someone is family, they will endure any behavior because “family is forever.” Family relationships will only last throughout the years if they are based on a foundation of mutual love and respect.
Most family relationships are always worth the effort it takes to maintain them. Many people have probably experienced rifts in their families between relatives that have quarreled for years. Most of these relationships could probably be salvaged if the two relatives approached each other openly and honestly with compassion and worked to establish a compromise.
While most family relationships are mutually beneficial and worth maintaining, the sad reality is that not all family relationships are healthy. What’s important to realize is that people in any healthy relationship will argue. These arguments should be handled maturely and compassionately. However, family members who purposely try to make each other feel guilty or uncomfortable are not treating each other with respect, and these relationships can be even be mentally abusive.