Understanding Control Dramas

The Cause And Effect Of Control Dramas

In the early stages of a relationship, everything is great, and there is immense happiness involved for both parties. Naturally, this does not last. There arises a disagreement, and all the wonderful feelings begin to decline. Each one feels the boost they had gained, from the joining of minds, start to diminish; along with the energy and inspiration they felt. In response, they begin to manipulate one another for dominance and force their partner to succumb to their wishes. A classic “Control Drama” ensues.

You must contrast this with what is certainly the more appropriate and a healthy way to manage complications altogether. Instead of relying on another person to feel a heightened sense, both parties should seek a real, experienced-based connection with the larger, Divine Mind itself. This is the presence within us that has always been called God. Saints and Teachers, from all types of spiritual traditions, have consistently pointed to this solution. 

Living The Solution

Only when we open up to a larger consciousness, which exists within us, do we achieve optimal security, clarity, an intuitive knowing, and a true calling to a mission in the world.

Once we are more spiritually connected, relationships can then be developed around true interests and compatibility, without involving a need for security. Disagreements are liberated to be resolved through compromise with a united, intuitive mentality on which a person should be displaying leadership at a given moment.

We are just beginning to conceive and pursue a higher solution to the dilemma of Control Dramas and human conflict, in general. We must first, find a way to navigate through such issues in the most positive and enlightened way possible. This begins with recognizing them in others, as well as ourselves, then dealing with them in the most insightful and achievable way possible. When you are applying this daily, both partners can move toward a more enlightened relationship.

A few great quotes:

“A person will self-correct when they are made to feel that their communication is not being judged.  When they are free to communicate, in a safe place, where no one is trying to heal, convert, fix or change them. So they will be less likely to falsify, defend, mask, disguise, and even lie to manipulate someone’s judgment.  Now they are free to seek their own psychological and spiritual health, thus free to become their whole and holy self. ”   -Scott Peck, A Different Drum.

“Every day you are presented with a thousand opportunities to view some event, some thought, some mood as more pressing than being a friend.  You will still doubt that it is happier to feel love than attack.As has been stressed so often, feeling love has nothing to do with behavior, with mere form, with agreeing to demands or acting nice. It is a vision, a deeper reaction, a way of looking, an internal response.

We decide to continue seeing our partner as a chosen friend, we decide to know why we are with this person, we decide that we are worthy of giving love. This is a reality beyond the confusion of the world. It is experienced once you come to see that what blesses another blesses you.  At that moment, fear is lifted and hope is translated into security. And love is seen no longer as a possession but as that which possesses you, and is you, and is all you will ever need.”  -Notes to Each Other by Hugh and Gayle Prather