A Deeper Look At The Aloof Control Drama
The Aloof “Control Drama” is less passive than the Poor Me Control Drama, yet still tries to lure you into connection by acting distant and unreadable. They want you to connect with them, but they only partially connect themselves, while withholding information.
Acting this way leads you into the pursuit of more knowledge about whom they are and what they are doing. When you do investigate and engage more of a connection, they respond with obscure facts released with a certain air of mystification. They also might imply that they know secrets no one else knows, and even that these secrets reveal something that the pursuing person desperately needs to know. This pushes you to further your inquiries.
Their effort is to get your attention solely on them and for you to subconsciously allow them to have control of the relationship. Thus giving them the uplifting energy of your connection. The victim of this tactic, in turn, feels depleted.
Some of the interactions with an Aloof person can be quite amusing. They are continually withdrawn, as the victim questions and stresses to get the Aloof to open up. One might ask, “What did you do last night,” and only receive a brief, cryptic answer. They might say, “I had a meeting with someone and came home late,” giving no details. Asking a follow-up question yields an equally distant reply.
How can you tell whether the person you are interacting with is playing the Aloof game or just doesn’t want to open up to you? Give up, walk off briefly, or just be silent. The Aloof person, who is actively pursuing the energy of the joint mind, will want to keep your connection. They will tend to give just a little more info to keep you interested, something such as, “It was a very successful meeting actually.” When you inquire more about that, they will seize control and go vague again.
What to do to break the Aloof game? Again, express precisely how you feel about this interaction. Say something such as, “Every time I try to get to know you or really share your life, I feel like I can never get a straight answer.” In this way, you have “named the game.” Just make sure you remain authentic to yourself, and don’t slip into your own “Control Drama” such as “the Interrogator,” which is the natural partner game to the Aloof.
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