AVOIDING CONTROL DRAMAS:
To avoid using a control drama, try to catch yourself as soon as possible. You may find you are manipulating others to get their attention, energy, or approval. Work on feeling inwardly secure by Connecting with the Divine Intelligence inside you. Remember, you must become intuitively giving to STAY connected. This works because when you ask how you might help others, you will get an intuitive thought of what to say, how to give a Synchronistic experience to them. When you open up to your intuitive guidance in this way, it will strengthen your Spiritually Connection.
To avoid being the victim of a control drama, stay alert for someone lowering your energy by seeking to control you (though guilt tripping you, being distant, criticizing you, or being intimidating.) Then just name the game by lovingly saying how you feel. The game can’t be played if it is brought into awareness. You will protect yourself. If the person argues with you, just say that’s how you feel, don’t argue back. It allows the conversation to become authentic.
We’ve always wondered what causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end and suddenly turn to conflict.
When love first happens, you give each other energy freely. You both feel buoyant and elated as the energy builds up, and you feel the incredible high of that we all call being “in love.” This is a real joining of minds. But soon one or both people wants to dominate the other to control this joint energy for themselves, and thus they stop giving energy, making their partner feel diminished and lowered. They fight back with their own control dramas, and you have a Power Struggle. For romantic relationships to work, both partners have to be secure in their own Spiritual Connection, so they are free to give energy all the time.
A Group Setting:
Interaction in a group is also discussed in the Eighth Insight. In such group meetings, some people feel self-conscious or shy and don’t participate as easily as others. As the group members talk, new ideas surface one at a time. This is optimized if all members of the group are giving energy to each other and not trying to dominate individually out of a need for attention. Each person can feel whether they are the one that is supposed to talk next, or the energy of the group should go to someone else.
Then each member can focus their attention on the person speaking as the group’s energy spontaneously flows. This attention energy helps the person to deliver their contribution with the greatest clarity and depth. This technique helps everyone in the group participate completely.
The idea is to add to the energy of each member of the group by projecting your own energy and not to become so addicted to the ‘rush’ of energy as to monopolize and dominate the group interaction. Each member must share and follow the energy movement of the group. If you concentrate on what is being said, you can feel when it is your turn. An idea will come into your mind. The key to this process is to speak up when it is your moment to do so, and to project energy when it is someone else’s time.
Relating with your Children
It is important to apply the Eighth Insight to children. Essentially, when you are dealing with a child, you should adopt the same approach as when you are dealing with adults. When you talk to children honestly and give them energy, it sets the groundwork for how they will eventually relate to others.
General Ideas for relating to children:
– As you discipline, be clear and explain to them why they must learn the intended lesson, and what they did wrong. Find a way to tell the child the truth in words they can understand.
– Send children your loving energy no matter what their behavior is and be consistent.
– You must be honest with yourself as you correct a child to make sure you are not using a control drama on them. Sometimes we use our means of gaining energy unconsciously, so it’s important to develop self-awareness. There should never be another agenda on your part when you are disciplining.
– Deepening your spiritual connection will automatically give you inner security, and your children will see and feel this security and copy what you are doing. When you provide this example, they will grow up secure and Connected, reducing many difficulties in their future adult relationships.
“One of the worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them.”
― James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy
The Solution Lies With Each Of Us
The betterment of every life on this Earth begins with illuminating each personal conversation and finishes when we create a world that is Spiritually Connected and characterized by honest communication. As we all discover how to relate authentically, and we teach this to our children, we create a new generation of people who together can quickly and effectively transform the world.