A Deeper Look At The Intimidator Control Drama

The Intimidator is the most aggressive type of “Control Drama” where the user tries to scare you into deferring to their control in the relationship. Thus, this is the most dangerous of manipulation devices since some Intimidator’s resort to violence to ensure that the game works.

You know when you are relating to an Intimidator when you sense an air of aggression in another’s demeanor and attitude. This person has usually grown up in an environment where he could not gain energy in his early childhood in any other way.

As with the other games, one should be as honest as possible with the Intimidator, and find subtle ways to “name the game.” Wise judgment and care for your safety should be used. Sometimes an Intimidator will be found in a relationship with a Poor Me, who has learned to argue back only passively by guilt tripping or pleading. This is often the core dynamic, which makes people stay in relationships that are verbally abusive or violent. In these cases, leaving the relationship and seeking shelter somewhere else may be the only option.