The feeling of euphoria!

[fblenman]

It would have been last year when I decided to pick up the Celestine Prophecy once more for a read. Previously the insights didn't effect me, probably because I didn't have as much of an understanding of their consequences.



After reading it for the second time, I felt more love for the topic and going through the insights one-by-one I began to feel 'enlightened'. This feeling continued for about a week. Everything was flowing so smoothly. I was talking to complete strangers and finding messages within our discussions. I was 'on top of the world'.



At the time I was in a long term relationship with a guy who was a 'poor me person'. Whenever he sensed that I was happy he would try to pull me down with him. I tend to fall in to the control drama of being 'aloof'. I tried so hard to remain positive, but he ended up defeating me. Since then I cannot regain that state of consciousness. I can manage to get past the coincidence stage, but it all seems to be more of an effort now. Does anyone have a solution to this?

[michellepetkus]

Hi Fblenman,



There have been a number of posts of this nature of falling out of the positive state of mind back into our old negative habits and emotions. Unfortunately, there is nothing I or anyone can say that can truly turn things around for you. You have to make that choice yourself. What I will say is that after years of feeling negative about myself and the world in general my trigger was that I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just decided one day that all I wanted was to be happy. Plain and simple. From that day on all my energy went to this end. Over time I noticed that I started to have an aversion to being around negative people. I just didn't want to go there anymore. I am now at the point where I can sympathize with someone who is being negative and using a control drama but not get sucked into the negativity. I just refuse to go there because it is not healthy for me and if I'm not healthy I can't help guide them down the path of health. So I guess what I'm trying to say is just choose to be happy. Pretend at first even if you are not because after a while your brain will start to believe it. If things are bad and you can't deny your bad mood then just go with it and ride it out. Write about why you may feel bad, watch a movie or listen to music that can help you purge or just have a plain old good cry. But above all be honest with yourself. What you are going through is not new. We all go through it. In the end, ulitmately, you need to take responsibilty for you own happiness because no one else is going to do it for you. But always know that no matter what I and the rest of the group will always be here for support.



Your Friend,

Michelle

[fblenman]

Thanks michellepetkus!



I understand that it has a lot to do with my state of mind and my dominating control dramas but it just brings out a bit of frustration in me, knowing that the gift was once there and now it feels lost. I know I can pick myself up again. I'm just in a routine that I need to change.



Being in a community where everyone seems so angry makes it tough to maintain that constant flow of love that helps one build energy. I can't help but pity the individuals that fall in to this rut of seeking hate and violence. It's everywhere, and all we can do is radiate love towards them in prayer that they might turn around.



Thanks again for your kind words. I'm thrilled that this forum has been invented for people to be able to discuss these topics.

[matt]

Hey there fblenman, hi Michelle.



May I suggest another view to this?



Consider instead you received a taste of what's in store for you, should you want it. I say a taste, because it takes much time and effort to resolve our lives in order to sustain such energies... it's like becoming a great athlete - say a long distance runner; we are given a taste of entering the home straight, what it's like to be in control of our destiny with the crowd cheering us on... (I'm assuming it's a very uplifting feeling!) But then we are brought back to the starting line and are told; "if you want that, you must train and run the race first". You see, without dedication and effort, without the right training, we will never reach that home straight - but without knowing what it's like, will we ever put that effort in?



Without that training, if we were to suddenly appear on that home straight - beyond a fleeting postcard appearance - we would gasp and ache and probably pull all the muscles in our body, simply because we were not ready to sustain that pace. And that is the key to this; we must be able to sustain the pace. Without that foundation, we will flounder. Without that foundation when we are tested by other athletes, we will be bundled over and have their studs all over us.



I am not saying it is a competition, but I am linking competitiveness with karmic interaction, e.g. if someone makes us unhappy, then we falter and can be bundled over yes?



So that is where I think you're at. Sounds to me like one of your chakras partially or fully opened - such an event takes us to the "top of the mountain" and is life changing, however if we didn't have to climb to get there, when we are pushed we won't know how to get back; so we learn to climb for that is the way back.



You have my sympathies, for I know what this is like but you also have my hopes for I know what you can achieve from it.



Matt

[michellepetkus]

Hi fblenman,



It sounds to me like you have challenged yourself this time around. There is a purpose for the negative people in your life. As much as we would like to be surrounded by like minded people, when we are, there isn't much challenge to life. The people who test your will are the ones who will truly help you grow. It sounds like you have achieved a certain level of self-awareness. This is a huge step because real change isn't generally achieved until we've become aware of the problem and made the decision to fix it. But just take it one day at a time. Try to notice when your mood becomes dark and see if you can figure out what your trigger is. In general, most of us use control dramas because we are either trying to protect ourselves or we're pushing too hard because we fear we won't get what we want. Most of all, don't be too hard on yourself. You will achieve that state of mind again one day because you want to.



Your Friend,

Michelle



PS Matt, your words are always so inspiring. You are a light indeed.

[fblenman]

I'm back. I think I'm on the other side of the world to you. These discussions always seem to take place when I'm asleep.



I agree with what you both are saying Michelle and Matt. I don't meet a lot of people who are taken on a spiritual path. There is a passion in most of us, I think, but most are too afraid to express it in fear of being humiliated. It is often a very touchy subject.



Do any of you have a group of people/friends that come together occasionally to share their veiws on this matter? I think that I could learn a lot more, particularly from others if I was to develop a group like the one mentioned. The problem is, everyone is so divided between religion/beliefs that these subjects often become a debate, which is not the way I like it. I almost feel like I'm preaching. I always worry too much about what others think. Again, it's my control drama.



I need people like you two to snap me out of it. I know my world can be a better place as long as I stay focussed on the love around me, not the negative factors that I seem so dominated by. Once again, I thank you so much and have faith in me that I can beat this issue.



With Love

Fiona

[michellepetkus]

Hi Fiona,



I know exactly what you are feeling. When I first began to understand having touched that euphoric positive end of the spectrum I was so swept up by it that I wanted to open everyone's eyes. I felt like I just wanted to shake everyone and make them see that there was a better way to live if they would just listen to me. In the end though I also realized that I was just preaching to them, trying to force them to see things my way, which is something I myself resented when people did it to me. Eventually I learned to be satisfied with waiting for those opportune moments when someone was receptive to something I might have to say and taking comfort in seeing the light bulbs go off in their head as I somehow managed to spark a little insight into them. That is all I think any of us can do.



As for having a group to meet with, I don't either. I really only have a couple of people in my life who I talk to openly about life and both of them don't really even understand me anymore but they don't judge me either. So for me, this group has really given me that opportunity to express myself and hear other people's thoughts and ideas. I don't know if I would have gained some of my more recent understandings without this site. It has truly been a blessing for me that I am very grateful. Hopefully this site can do the same for you.



By the by, I live in Chicago, IL and it is now time for me to go to sleep.



Your Friend,

Michelle



PS: Scroll to the bottom of the web page and click on return to main page. After you get to the main page click the Community link. This idea seems really interesting if they are able to pull it off. I've signed up to be notified of its progress and you might want to too.

[fblenman]

Good night Michelle!



When you wake tell me about your dream, if you can remember it. My dreams are so vivid lately. I have this problem lately where I think of something and can't remember if I've dreamt it before or done it in real life. My dreams are repetitive, which I know I've got to take more notice otherwise I'll miss the vital message in them. They include the same people, such as my Mum, past relationships, acquaintances and most of whom I recognise. I often find myself in a space in the centre of all of these people who are looking in on me with confused expressions on their faces. I feel like I'm saying so much but they go about talking in their groups, not hearing a word I say. I feel like a guinea pig who is the subject of these people's curiosities. Am I such a hard person to work out? Maybe I feel like coming out with something but instead I just keep to myself, which just causes more anguish. Is this how you interpret such a dream? Talk to you soon!



If you're wondering, I'm from Australia.



Enjoy a peaceful night!

Fiona

[michellepetkus]

Hi Fiona,



I really don?t remember my dreams too often or I only remember a few bits of it. I had a strange one last night but I only remember a snippet so it?s not worth talking about but I will tell you a dream I had rather recently. There are basically three people who are extra special to me. I love all my family but I have more of a connection with these three. They are my mother, my best friend and my boyfriend. The dream was based around my needing to give each of them a ride somewhere but in each case there was a problem that was holding me back from being able to complete my mission. For my mother she wasn?t sure where she was suppose to go. My friend was missing her keys. And my boyfriend just plain didn?t want to get into the car. It was one of those dreams that catches your attention for some reason and to some degree I think it is similar to yours. Essentially, I am in a position to be able to help these three become healthier spiritually and I was given little hints into where their stumbling blocks are. So for my mother I need to guide her down the path, my friend I need to give her the insights and my boyfriend I have to try and motivate him to wanting to grow in the first place because he is fairly complacent in his life. He is satisfied with himself and where he is at so he is kind of stagnating. He is a wonderful person but each of us has areas we can still grow further and he has a few but I think he fears if he rocks the boat it will tip over. It won?t with me steering but I have to get him to see that first.



As for your dream I have to say that it is probably one of two things. Either you are feeling like your thought processes have changed so much you fear that no one understands you anymore and you in turn don?t understand them. Which is very possible as I went through the same thing, wondering how in the world do I live in this world when I can no longer relate to people and their control dramas. I no longer react the way you are suppose to and this seems to disconcert some people. The other thing it could mean, which may actually be that the dream was two fold, is that you are the one who is suppose to help guide these people down the path of spiritual health but right now they just aren?t understanding you. They are looking to you for understanding but you just have to figure out how to explain it in their language. Interestingly enough my Mother after I tried to explain something to her asked me point blank, ?Why don?t you give me examples. If you give me examples I might be better able to understand what you are saying.? So I don?t think you are a guinea pig. You may have a little fear of being ostracized by them but I do think you are supposed to be guiding them more than anything else. Overall, though I think it was a very revealing dream in that it is showing you that you have changed so much you or others don?t see you the same way, and I mean that in a good way. And just keep in mind that your job is to try and help them but they are the only ones who are responsible for their own growth. You can?t do that for them.



Your Friend,

Michelle

[chakratom]

Hi fblenman,



I understand everything you are describing, and I feel like there is more going on around me than I know... but of course there is.



Check out a movie called "Waking Life", all about dreams.
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Bubbler pipe

[fblenman]

Hi Michelle, Hi Chakratom!



Somehow I managed to deactivate my account so I've been waiting patiently for Kelly to help me out. I just changed my email address and must have hit the wrong button. Oh well!



I will definately check out the movie called "Waking Life", Chakratom. It sounds like my sort of movie. I'm so behind in viewing movies. I have a long list of ones that I wish to see, but this one seems to be right up there amongst the top 10.



I think that most people have a sense that more is going on around them that they can't quite explain. I couldn't quite explain it either until I read the Celestine Prophecy, then I found something that made sense and I could agree with most of it. Once we lift our energy and grasp the key insights, everything starts to fall in to place and we find ourselves drifting with the flow. Touching, isn't it.



Michelle, I've never known a person that can use words as well as you can. You have such a nice nature about you and you can open peoples eyes to another perspective that they never knew was there. I never looked at that dream in that way. I always thought it was negative in the sense that I wasn't opening up to people. But, I think it could mean that I'm meant to help these people and guide them on the right path. I find that it's always got to be subtle the way I deal with this issue, but I think love can point me in the right direction. I think you've hit your dream on the head. It sounds like you have it all worked out. Do you ever feel like these people try to hold you back from your dreams? You might find that they try to manipulate you in to feeling sorry for them, which draws you to help them before moving on in your own life. Depending on the circumstances in your life I guess only you could be sure.



I would write more though I'm always busy with work, etc. I'll talk to you again soon. This subject has taken a new turn. Maybe we could make another topic about dreams, which could continue for the rest of the month. I think I'll leave the subjects up to others to choose. Thanks for your time.



Take care!

Fiona

[chakratom]

That's great to hear!



It is interesting to me how the Davinci Code is so big, there is a countdown in the newspapers, on the TV news, radio, etc... while this movie, The Celestine Prophecy Movie is unknown, even to me a few short days ago. And the part that is a bit disturbing is how almost all movie now in theatres, new on video, are very negative by nature, full of violence, greed, and many other negative emotions.



Lucky for me, I don't watch those anymore, and have just begun a transformation of my body by quitting smoking tobacco, eating meat, caffeine, and all forms of junk food, and just eating healthy. A big change, my body was shocked, but is not turning around and I feel wonderful.



Since my change, plants grow strong around me, people respond to my greetings stronger, and the world is far more beautiful than I saw it before. The last vision I got from sleeping last night was of me helping the Celestine Prophecy Movie get attention in Calgary, and meeting other people that I am supposed to meet, as I also changed where I live from paradise in the mountains to inner-city in Calgary. A big change that really showed me who I am, and that is a being that is full of respect and gratitude for the same emotions, now my dramas only come out around other people that are blocked, something I am working on overcoming...



Now, when have we seen a movie with a positive vibe like this one accompanied by a forum to discuss the content? Of course, I have yet to see the movie, the one I imagined while reading the book was amazing!



Namaste

Tom
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YAMAHA YZF600R

[michellepetkus]

Hi Fiona,



Thanks for your kind words. It is always nice and appreciated to hear. I?ve thought of maybe one day writing a book but I too am quite busy with work.



As for your dream, maybe the reason it reoccurs so often is because you were missing the main point along the lines I mentioned and it keeps repeating to try to tell you so. Whatever the case may be, I do really feel as though it was a spiritual dream that has to do with your higher purpose but your fear of opening up is maybe what?s holding you back. I think coming to this site will help you get over that. You can talk about whatever you like and still have the protection of the computer. So test out all your thoughts on us. I am hear to listen.



What an appropriate question to ask, Do I ever feel as though people have held me back from my dreams? The answer is yes but it was mostly by choice. It is not something I have thought about in a while but since you asked I think this would be a good time to review that choice I made 15 years ago. I have basically been an observant person. Not as much as I am now but enough to see the world for what it was. I have also always been the type that tried to be kind, caring and giving. Growing up I never hesitated to take the time needed to help out a friend. As time went by, though, I began to loose my faith in people. I began to see people as basically selfish and self involved because even though I was always there for them, when the chips were down, everyone seemed to be too busy to lend me their shoulder to cry on. After a while I decided that I was really strong enough to deal with life on my own and I established my independence from people by walking away from my friends. This coincided at a time when I was getting old enough to develop a more adult relationship with my mother. She basically became my only friend. Though at the time we didn?t really define people?s actions by their control dramas we did discuss their rather selfish manipulative ways. Through long talks we discovered that my mother was raised by a person with a daily control drama issue. She married a man who also had a daily control drama issue. Because of this she made it a point to not use a control drama on her kids. And I was grateful. She was my balancing force that kept me sane. I then began to work at a bar and I met the man I am with today. I developed a bond with him rather quickly but it took a few more years for me to realize it was more. During that time I also reconnected with a childhood school mate that I wasn?t really friends with during school. One simple act opened my heart to her. She asked me to go out after work one night and when I told her I was tired, instead of thinking only about herself and begging me to go out with her she said, no problem I will call you tomorrow. I was floored because I was use to people trying to manipulate me into doing what they wanted. One simple act and she became a friend for life. After basically swearing off people I now had three in my life that weren?t going to treat our relationships as one sided and they meant the world to me.



During this time I was also trying to figure out my path in life. I decided to follow and found out that I was pretty good at video editing. But I began to realize that for me to truly follow my dreams and possibly hit it big I would have to leave these three people that had become so dear to me. It was a difficult indecisive time for me. I eventually chose to stay where I was at and work in my field in the corporate environment. Not as much money but I still get to do a job that I love and not everyone can say that. The bottom line was, when all was said and done, when my life was coming to a close, what was going to be more important to me. The career I had had or the relationships I had shared with these three very special people. So though I made the choice a little from guilt because I did not want to leave and hurt these people I also knew that I really didn?t have any other choice that I could truly live with and be happy.



That being said, I have spent my fair share of hours contemplating how my life may have been different if I was free. If I didn?t have to be accountable to people. I can?t say whether I would have been more successful or not, but I kind of think it probably would have been easier. However, I made my choice because I found a few people who weren?t trying to constantly control me. And as much as they all wanted me to stay none of them would have tried to hold me back. If they had I would have walked away in an instant and not looked back. Because the bottom line is, the most selfish thing anyone can ask of you is for you to give up your life to satisfy their and only their needs. If you come across people who are asking that of you, you should, under no circumstances, feel guilty about walking away because they wouldn?t hesitate if they were in your shoes. To give into their manipulative control drama tactics actually just enables them to continue to use their negative actions to get their way. Most people I have found really do want to be nice people they are just stuck in some negative habits. So refusing to let them manipulate you will help them grow more then trying to please them ever will. And even if you aren?t successful in helping them grow at least you will come out of it a healthier person.



Your question was actually very revealing. Even though you may think you have major issues with your own control dramas it sounds to me like you use them not as a means to an end but as a way of protecting yourself from being manipulated. There is a huge difference and once you start to break the control people have over you, you will notice that your control dramas will fade away also. You are already on your way just by coming to this site.



Your Friend,

Michelle

[michellepetkus]

Hi Tom,



What a feat to change your life around so drastically. What an interesting story you must have to tell about what led you to this point. Maybe you would like to share it with us one day.



I have to agree with you on the negative nature of entertainment these days. About 10 or so years ago a book and subsequent movie came out, The Bridges of Madison County. It was wildly popular. I finally had the chance to see it and was flabergasted that the story glorified adultry. I guess it just goes to show that people do feel as though something is missing in their lives. It's just that they won't find it outside of themselves. I do find though that a lot of the intense action flicks are more about good triumphing over evil. But I draw the line when it comes to movies praising negative behavior. My nephew wanted a video game that promoted stealing. I refused to get it for him because that is not the message I want to put out into the world. And that is all we really can do. Not support those types of entertainment.



Yours Truly,

Michelle

[chakratom]

I will add that what prompted me to take a drastic change was something made illegal in most of the world, LSD. I went to an outdoor music festival, a rave culture event, in the Kootenays of British Columbia, Canada, where I felt nothing but amazement and respect for all my fellow humans, and myself, for once.



since that event though, I have no need to take psychadelic "drugs", as I can get to where they took me, and beyond, by simply being present, being the observer, and being myself. I have even discovered my animal totems this past week, all at the same time as when I got interested and informed on crystal energy, and bought myself some crystals for chakra balancing and to help with my addictions, and to enter a state of meditation more readily.



Interesting coincidence, for one posiive change comes another, I highly recommend the therapeutic use of LSD, although I don't wish to push the idea on anyone, only say that it worked for me, showed me what to look for, it is not THE way to get there, I am certain of that now...



My animal totem that really hit home the most was the squirrel! His behaviors are identical to my own at many times, when I feel like I am on the right path...



Namaste



Tom
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