Member Introduction

[starsapphire]

I started my journey in 1980 and was introduced to the upcoming shift at that time. My perspectives now are quite different then they were back when:) I realize that knowledge is a tool and has not to do with requirements for the New Age. Today The New Age movement is a maze of information, some good, some not. Each one must choose for themselves
what is appropriate for themselves but, know that this will change, as the one constant in the Universe is change. What I look for today is the sincerity and the demonstration in each person. The one thing I do find lacking in this New Age movement is Self Reflection and the ability to think and reason for ourselves. Trust your intuition, never follow blindly, question yourself and your intentions, monitor your thoughts and what your projecting, be accountable, never be afraid to look inside and see your own darkness, lots of old world programming in there. I don't believe we can raise our consciousness on illusion and glamour, it's hard work and takes discipline.
Starsapphire

[Deenie1]

I just wanted to comment on something you said. You made a comment about taking responsibility for ourselves and our journeys and never being afraid of looking at the darkness within. I couldn't agree with you more. And I would actually suggest that in order to become more fully spiritual (and responsible), it is actually a necessity to do just that. I really think that a spiritual journey must start with ourselves! If we cannot deal with our own issues, how can we ever expect to deal with others. I just wish that more people actually were brave enough to do just that! Namaste.

[starsapphire]

It's refreshing to find someone who understand the importance of Self Reflection and dealing with our own issues before trying to solve or interfere in another's lessons? I see this so much in the human race. The Path of Self Undoing truly is the road less traveled and yet until we have the courage (as you said) and the awareness to recognize the problem begins with us and the need to transform our own mind stuff we can never really, in the higher sense, be fully capable of creating a world of peace and love, respect, consideration etc.
Starsapphire

[Deenie1]

I wholeheartedly agree with you!!!!! I find so many people get onto this spiritual path and get side tracked by all the glitz of it - The Law of Attraction and getting what you want, etc.. I realize we all have our own path to walk and so I can't fault any one for going that route - who wouldn't want everything they ever wanted - but I find that road, at least for myself, is not a satisfying one. I want a close, daily relationship with the universe (my word for God) and I don't find I can do that without looking within first! Clearing my inner self helps me appreciate the world around me. I can also understand why most people do not take this road - it's hard!!!!! But in the end, I think very worth it. It's nice to talk to someone who agrees. By the way, feel free to contact me at my hotmail address - deeniemaci@hotmail.com. I would love to chat.

[starsapphire]

Hi, you crawled inside my head:) Our thoughts certainly run in the same direction:) Thank you for the invite to e-mail you personally. I will be working 12 hr shifts almost every day for the next two weeks so my time will be limited but after that I will get in touch.

[carolyn]

"Trust your intuition, never follow blindly, question yourself and your intentions, monitor your thoughts and what your projecting, be accountable, I don't believe we can raise our consciousness on illusion and glamour, it's hard work and takes discipline"

Agree totally. The clearing of old attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs is difficult at first but gets better as you go along. What is avoided begins to clamor for attention and can create crisis in your life, health or otherwise, especially at this time of accelerated energies on the planet.

[starsapphire]

Agree totally. The clearing of old attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs is difficult at first but gets better as you go along. What is avoided begins to clamor for attention and can create crisis in your life, health or otherwise, especially at this time of accelerated energies on the planet.[/quote]

"I loved what you said about what is avoided begins to clamor for attention and can create clamor in our lives". Once I become aware of an attitude within me that hinders my personal growth, I seem to see it everywhere I go:( I use to always attract these very religious people coming to my door trying to convert me? I would never hesitate to argue my point of view, after all I had all this knowledge of the New Age?? "Finally" one time they came and about half way through the conversation I became completely silent. It was as if I were standing next to myself listening to how I sounded,my words, my attitude:( I realized, at that point, that it wasn't about who was right or who was wrong, it was about "Fanaticism" theirs and mine. So, I thanked them but, explained to them I wasn't interested. We "think" because we're learning all this new stuff that the old stuff is in our past now but, the old programming has not left us and it sneaks into our lives again and again. It could be about politics, religion, or even how we raise our kids, it's deeply rooted in the subconscious.

[Deenie1]

I have found the same thing Star. Once this path opens up and we choose to take it, the old programming is constantly being tested so that we have opportunities to overcome it and grow further. I have found also that once one block is cleared (or so we think), another one comes forward. I have also found that more often than not, the new block that comes in is an extension of the old block and so it goes deeper and deeper. I have never really had a problem with dealing with people who only touch my life briefly. My biggest problem has always been an over-exuberant sense of justice and the people I deal with all the time. I always feel that if people really cared about one another, they would treat each other with respect and love but that is rarely the case. So often those old patterns stay and influence so many. Being able to see that is frustrating because I would so much like to do something about it but I can't because I have to respect each persons path. This sense of justice is something I am always dealing with because I know we each have a purpose and a life to live and we each are blessed with free will to choose that path but so often I just want to nudge them off onto the "right" path. That is not their problem, it's mine. Even the best of intentions lead down the wrong path.

I would love to talk to you both more. It is so nice to speak with like minded people. If either of you wish to chat more, please feel free to contact me through my hotmail address. And Star - no problem with the when. I am not going anywhere so when you can, please feel free. And Carolyn, that invitation is definitely extended to you as well.

Love and light to you both.

[carolyn]

This is for Star and Deenie1, I too found some of my old beliefs and attitudes really hard to let go of, and then I was thrown together with those that triggered my sense of indignation/injustice so often that I finally and miraculously just let go of the old view and changed my attitude. Such a relief!!! because it was my attitude that was causing my discomfort, and not really what others were doing.

Like you, in the end, I have to concede that everyone has a right to their own choices and I am best to be concerned with my own choices and allow others to live out their dramas, and not feel responsible to do anything. The test is watching a loved one in a painful drama, been there! ...and remaining an objective witness. In the end, each has a right to his/her own choice and life drama. We are all on a unique path to the same ultimate destination in the light. In reality, no one gets hurt and no one dies. All illusion and all for the lessons learned by all concerned.

Glad to meet you both!

[Deenie1]

I can imagine that would be a huge relief, Carolyn! So often I wanted to help people but learned long ago, you can't make people believe what you want them to and that was actually a very good realization. What is more difficult for me now is letting go of the injustices and wrongs done to me - or so they appear to me. I don't mind being wrong but I hate being wrong when I know I am right and I often find myself getting more inwardly indignant about people than I need to. I am not a confrontational person by nature but I have a tendancy to speak my truth quietly. I don't ask people to buy into what I believe - their choice, their path - but I do ask that people respect my beliefs. Most of the time, I am finding that is the injustice I deal with because so many of the people I deal with feel that it is a very reasonable thing to tell me how to live my life. Practically every day, it is a conversation with myself to respect them and understand that they are at a different place than I am (not necessarily worse or better) and that each of our paths are unique but neither is more or less worthwhile to the universe. If I am to believe we are all equal, than I have to believe that the universe sees us that way and that is the ideal way for each of us to see each other - regardless of who we are to each other on this earth. It's the issue I am working on hardest at the moment. And although I wholeheartedly agree with you "all illusion and all for the lessons learned" - I can't help wishing sometimes I didn't have the lessons to learn! lolol

[starsapphire]

I did my first 12 hour shift last night and am off to another today:( But, I wanted to tell you both how much I enjoy visiting with you and hearing your personal realizations. I can so relate. I do allot of just nodding my head these days as to not engage myself in a no win game of tit for tat. I'm 64 now so it's not as important for me to be right or be heard, however, I also seem to know more and more when to speak up or defend myself or what I believe, most times though I sense when it will just go on deaf ears and really is more about me than the other person, that just comes from years and years of my own self reflection and seeing my own intentions. I think when your young you have all these answers to everyone's questions, I call that arrogance. When you get older you have all these questions but no absolute answers, they call that humility. Gotta go to work now, stay well.

[Deenie1]

Wow Star - God love ya! I would not want to be doing 12 hour shifts at my age (47) let alone at 64! I am really going to have to think about the comments you made - they really struck a chord with me. I love the thought "When your young you have all these answers to everyone's questions, I call that arrogance. When you get older you have all these questions but no absolute answers, they call that humility". These days for me it is not so much about being right (with most people) as just living peacefully. Both my mother and my brother were constantly interferring with my life and how I wanted to live and I finally had to walk away from them for a long time. Then my mother developed cancer and it caused me to reassess my stand point. How could I involve them in my life without getting so close that they started trying to live my life for me again. I think I have found a happy medium with that and am much happier for it.

My biggest problem these days is my ex. I left our relationship after 17 years of living a life I didn't want to live and realizing I was never going to be happy and neither would he. How we wanted to live was very different. He is very much a big city guy who loves the idea of the latest technology, a nice home in a well to do neighbourhood, a big car, travelling the world, etc.. I wouldn't mind travelling but that isn't something I feel I need to do and living in a big city doesn't sit well with me and having the best of everything to me is about money and not about life. I want to live in a small town surrounded by nature. I want to be walking along a beautiful trail in the mountains and spending my days helping others (when I am not working). This was never going to be a life he wanted to live and when I finally came to the realization that my life with him was never going to be something I was enthuastic about, I left. Now he sees me as an enemy and there is constant conflict between the two of us because we have children.

I am finding it sooooo difficult to try to find a civil middle ground with him and more importantly to be able to see him as part of the greater plan and not allow my frustration with the situation to overcome my desire for spiritual growth. I guess in that way, there is still a glimmer of arrogance in me. I want the best I can give my children and try to do my best for them always. His idea of giving his children the best is buying things for them and leaving his new wife to be their mother, in effect replacing me. I am sure he doesn't think about it in those terms but the fear and anger those thoughts bring up is sometimes overwhelming for me and that is what I am trying to overcome now. I know that the children chose both of us as parents for a reason and that he is as important to that equation as I am. But knowing it and feeling it are two different things and that is where I get stuck. Not that I have given up trying to get unstuck. It is very important to me that I overcome this issue because it is truly interferring with my own desire for spiritual growth.

Anyway, I should go here. I have several things I need to get done today and I haven't even started yet. Oops lolol. I echo your sentiment, Star - I am finding this discussion very helpful and uplifting and for that I thank both you and Carolyn! Talk to you both soon. Stay well!

[starsapphire]

Hi Deenie, just getting ready to go to work again but needed to connect with you. Our lives run parallel in many ways. I also moved from a big city to be closer to Nature and work on my spiritual growth. My family has judged and criticized me for 20 some years? Your not arrogant at all for pursing your spirituality, it was the choice of the soul:) I have experienced my heart being shattered until I couldn't breathe, my flooding of tears and loneliness, my feelings of guilt as well, even though my mind of reason told me told me and showed me all the reasons I shouldn't feel this way. I so understand your plight and human struggles right now.
I missed my children more than words could begin to describe. They were my life, my identity. Albert Einstein once said that all of our questions to life are found in Nature and I find that to be true. Animals, unlike humans, raise their young from the very beginning to be independent , self sufficient and how to survive in the world about them. It's not like they come home for Thanksgiving:) Humans hang on, try and control, manipulate and, possess etc. We all, I think, want our freedom. Children start cutting the apron strings around puberty, we as parents need to help them along with this and demonstrate, demonstrate, demonstrate, even through our tears:) I sent you something by Kahlil Gibran on Children, he was one of my first authors years and years ago. Stay well Deenie, have to run again??


Khalil Gibran on Children

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[Deenie1]

Hi Star: Thank you so much for your kind words!!! I struggle every day with this issue and it is soooo difficult to find a place to be calm and peaceful with it. When I estranged myself from my mother and brother it was such a horrible feeling but I honestly didn't know how else to deal with their interference and more importantly to me, their lack of respect for my chosen path. As a very small example, I never watch the news because I find it a hodge podge of horrible stories designed to make us afraid and I can't stand it emotionally. My mother constantly berated me for being an ostrich sticking my head in the sand despite me telling her how it made me feel and she would constantly inform me of what was going on despite my objections. She is also one of those people that has to know what is going on in everyone's life and then inform the world at large (and usually the worst people). She had a habit of bringing everything that was happening in my life to my ex and that made things so much worse for our situation and she constantly went behind my back parenting my children despite my constant requests to not do so. My brother was not any better so I finally shut both of them out of my life. I was angry and desperate and couldn't see any other way to deal with it. Now I see them both on my terms, away from my house, at supper once a month and that works so much better. My boys are around so she doesn't ask questions that she shouldn't be in front of them and it negates the issues I was dealing with and my brother can't interfer either. The conversation is usually like and decent. Finding that middle ground for me was such a huge weight off my shoulders.

My ex is another thing altogether. I have been struggling with him for the last 7 years and it never seems to get better. Because he sees me as an enemy, I automatically took the opposite view - that I needed to protect and defend myself. Then recently, I started rereading the Celestine Prophecy because the 12th Insight has recently come out and I wanted to remind myself of the older books. Last night I finished reading the third book, The Secret of Shambhala. What a revelation!!! I was reading again about our prayer fields and how they go out and effect the people around us and the world at large. I had known that before but had totally forgotten to understand the implications of it. Now that I have reread it, I am feeling that this is the area I need to deal with in order to deal with my ex more effectively without compromising my own belief system and journey and still do the best I can for my children. I still know this is a difficult endeavour and that I won't be getting the whole thing overnight but the relief that there is an avenue I can go to deal with all of this is immense! It is amazing how much we forget and how much we only originally get on a surface level. Intellectual knowledge comes first and then as time goes on, those lessons push ever deeper to a soul level. The second and third book hadn't really made a big impression on me the first time I read them but now, with all the struggles I am dealing with, they have.

It makes me awe-struck (although it doesn't surprise me any longer) to realize that the universe really does walk with us and guide us throughout our lives when we decide definitively to embark on this journey. Synchronicities happen at just the right moment to pick us up off our feet and set us back in motion and in the right direction again.

As for your comments about how we prepare our children, I could not agree with you more! I see parents hang on or worse try to get their children to become more like them or worse than that, they don't even pay attention because they are too wrapped up in their own lives. I don't want that for my kids. I strive to understand them and always guide them to become independent, self sufficient people. Setting them on their own paths as prepared as I can make them is extremely important to me. I don't want them to be able to come back to me later and say "Why didn't you warn us?" I would feel awful because I would know I hadn't done the best for them I could. The quote from Kahlil Gibran is absolutely awesome and thank you so much for it!!

Anyway, I should go here. I just started the 12th Insight today and I want to keep reading to see where it leads me next. Sorry for the long missive - I tend to be a little long winded! lolol I hope your day is going awesome. You stay well too, Star. I am sending you energy just to hopefully give you a little pick me up in energy throughout your shift!

[starsapphire]

Hi:) It seems to me that you are making all the right choices Deenie. My Mom was an alcoholic but, as a child growing up she was a good Mom and didn't start drinking heavily until her children were grown. However, our relationship was strained and for years I didn't rock the boat and besides I had moved away so my objectivity was different. Love and Hate are a two sided coin and, to me, come from the same mold. Earth families are not the same as our spiritual family and many times are more about our karmic liabilities than not. As I have gotten older and am able to see more clearly the negative and positive attributes I carry within, I can see why my mother and I clashed. We shared the same negative characteristics . The difference between us was that I had the awareness and the willingness to change, she was still in denial. Different stages in our evolution. No judgement it's just the way it is but, I needed to see myself through her, therefore the natural attraction was in place. Your husband "knows" he can make you feel guilty, knows he can manipulate you by his words etc. When the stop sign goes up inside of you, he no longer has the power to control you. You have the power and you can hang up the phone, walk away, ignore him, whatever. But, you don't have to defend yourself Deenie and you don't have to prove yourself to anyone ever.
Gotta go to work again:( Stay well