Getting out of the cycle of fear and anger

[bardictiger]

I was wondering if anyone can share their experiences of having to escape the cycle pattern of fear and anger. What were the circumstances? What did you learn from it? How did you learn to let go and find stability? Or is anyone on this kind of journey now that can share their experiences?

Thanks in advance!
_________________
Smiles and Sunshine 4ever,
Gina

[jade]

Hi
To help with fear and anger I have found that it helps to first calm down.
A good way to do this is by breathing slowly, staying still, or yoga poses such as lying flat on the ground (dead man's pose) or legs up the wall.
Meditation is also helpful to calm the mind. Sit quietly for a few minutes paying attention to your breath. When your mind wanders too much (which it usually does) then pay attention to your breath again.
Next it is good to recognize your feelings, let it be there, don't fight it, just be aware of it.

Another quick way is to teach yourself to stay in the present moment.
Try reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, or books on Mindfullness Meditation by Jon Kabbat-Zin. You can use the idea that you only really have the present moment, the past is over (so why worry about it), the future doesn't exist yet (so why be fearful about something that hasn't happened yet).

I learned these ideas by reading and by taking a Mindfullness course, yoga lessons and learning meditation.

This is a big topic, but very important in today's times.
I hope this helps.
Blessings, Jade
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The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched - they must be felt with the heart ~ Helen Keller

[michellepetkus]

Hi Tiger,

Our bodies/minds are creatures of habit. Our brains actually like to operate on auto pilot creating a bodily response based on past experiences. Essentially what you are dealing with is a habit. Your brain is use to responding to fearful situations in your life with anger. It is your coping mechanism and to break free is really just a matter of retraining yourself to react differently. Easier said than done but with patience and persistence it will be accomplished.

For me it hasn't so much been a matter of anger but rather self loathing. I expected myself to be perfect and beat myself up at every little misstep. I was a nervous wreck because of it. To break this pattern that I was born with I instinctually just used mantras. Whatever I feared I gave myself a little saying (pep talk) to get me through. Things like, I don't have to be perfect, or it's not important. Whatever it took to get me to redirect my energy towards reacting differently. And though it took years of unlearning the switch did happen in an instant. One day while getting down on myself yet again it hit me that I didn't need to be perfect. The fact that I tried meant I was already love. I didn't have to achieve some sort of personal level of goodness the trying was all that mattered and from that point on I started to define myself by my strength rather than my weaknesses. I was free.

For you the mantras may be different so just use whatever comes to mind and you will eventually break free from your patterns into a healthier you. Just keep at it.

Love,
Michelle

[SL]

Hi Tiger,

there was a point when I was faced with situations that scared the hell out of me. I had studied enough to know that fear was not what I wanted to be ruled by, not what I wanted to base my life upon.

So I decided not to, and I began to simply do the things that scared me. Just step into them to find out why I was scared and how I could keep on keeping on in spite of my fear.

Everything I have experienced since has shown me that there was nothing to fear in those situations. It is always our own projections that give us reason to fear.

When anger comes up for me, it is always always always because of ME. My dissatisfaction with what 'is'... my lack of acceptance, my frustration at not being able to impose my will upon a situation. So I try to let go of those opinions, the first step to doing so is to be able to recognize that they are opinions. This is not always easy, but time does wonders for feelings like that... they will dissipate as one learns to be honest with one's self.

You ask pertinent questions Tiger, thank you for that!

Namaste,
Steve

[Inedible]