RUNNING THE RACE

[Puff Pastry]

When I was a young girl, I ran races. I won ribbons and prizes. My gym teacher in 7th grade said I had Olympic potential. I loved to run and knew I had been blessed with a talent for running. But as with so many possibilities in my life, I chose to forsake running because of fear and insecurity. Some of my peers made fun of the way I looked when my bangs blew back from my face while running. I can still remember the day I felt myself "shrinking" because of the belittlement. I wasn't brave enough to fight back and tell them to quit picking on me.

More importantly, I wasn't convinced of my wonderfulness and therefore, I allowed other people's opinions to determine my destiny.

Another missed opportunity would come years later when I interviewed at a prestigious acting school to become a student there. I sabotaged myself because of insecurity and fear again. This time it would be shame about a scar on my arm. Again, I "shrank" from my dream and my destiny.

I would end up settling instead of selecting the best path for my life. And with settling comes seething resentment. It bubbles just beneath the boundaries of polite behavior. In time, this cauldron of discontent would pour out of me in the form of rage.

It would overshadow my spiritual truths and plunge me into terrible sadness. In time, this state of mind and spirit can distort any joy of possibility. I languished in the crevice of hopelessness for a number of years until a sparkle of love ignited my heart.

I began to care again...to do again...to feel again. I started to come alive. It was my awakening. Those years were filled with the ecstasy and agony of becoming, changing, experiencing, and surrendering my heart to the love of my life. Never did I suspect that he would cause me the greatest grief of my entire life. His deception and cruel manipulation nearly destroyed me. The past 12 months have been like a slow painful death. But I have survived. I did not shrink from the fear and insecurity he evoked.

I have fought the good fight...I have run the race...and now I am ready to discover my true destiny. If you are in a spiritual battle, keep strong in the certainty of truth and hope. For these pillars of strength will keep you safe and guide you to great possibilities.

[GeneHrsy]

Hiya Puff Pastry Cute nickname!

Thank You for your story. I thought it might be better in the Share Insights thread as it is very insightful.

Ego is a very tricky beasty. If it can't get to one by making them feel better than others, it will do it by making one feel less than others.

I am sorry to hear of your partner's errors. They are just that, as he allowed himself to be lead by ego, and ego has no desire for love nor the well being of its host. If you can realize this, it is easier to forgive those whom are still learning lessons, and giving others review on lessons they either don't need or have been through already. It is a pain that all those who Love feel at some point; when we give our gift to another and it is received, but then their gift to the giver is carelessness, malice, distrust, and fear. Like the opening scene of Pay It Forward ....the guy gets a new car given to him and he then harasses the giver to the point that he wishes he could take the car back. It is as though we see the lack of love in the person's life expressed by them. It is a defense of ego that has convinced the person that love does not exist. When ego is touched by love it often reacts to defend its sickly self. I suggest it often on this site, read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". I learned so much from this book, and am certain it can help many more people understand how the ego plays with our minds.

Welcome to the forum. I'll be looking forward to more of your insight.

Namaste
Gene
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Time is the measurement of humanity's Awakening to the True nature of Now.
Ever wonder what would happen if the whole world farted, then smiled at the same time??