A brief intro of my love story

[paulpace]

Hi all,

I am a first timer in this wonderful group of people. Came to know about this from the film Celestine Prophecy which I saw 2 days ago.

I am Maltese, brought up in a normal Catholic family with lots of good values for life, love and our existence - obviously wrapped up in Christian terms. 3 years ago I met my wife whom I married after 1 year and half of a good free flowing loving relationship.

My wife is Bulgarian living in Malta and we met through work. During our relation before getting married we rarely spoke about religions and belief until we decided to get married. Actually she was Orthodox but after her sister was introduced to Protestant Christianity, due to their mum's terminal sickness at that time the whole family started practising the protestantism.

I had no problem with that to the effect that because her mum, who now passed away last year after our wedding, could not travel, we decided to get married in the protestant church in Bulgaria.

My issue/bad energy started after all this as I discovered an intense believing community who live the bible bit by bit and say that it is the truth. My wife got into it so much, after the influence of her sister, that I am getting very uncomfortable communicating with her. She says this is the only truth of existence and the rest is all devilish. Although I am a Catholic I do not agree with all this and has always respected all beliefs and religions cos I feel deep inside that we all have One creator. Deep inside me I feel the need to give and express love to others. My wife got very closed in this belief. One of my biggest questions is that in this community a lot of people talk in different tongues which they call the holy spirit. Now even my wife wants to become like them.

I do love her but I cannot see my life like this and am feeling a big barrier. Can someone try to explain a bit all this complexity of beliefs. I cannot understand if humanity is made of love and needs love to survive why I am feeling far away from the "suppose" love of my life. Is it a question of understanding or living with the wrong partner. I wish I can free myself from all this. Please pray for me and my relationship as I really feel I have to set myself free of this - it is tormenting me. I have read and am learning the insights which I found very inspiring and helpful within these first 2 days.

I tried to explain my story - hope you find it interesting to read and feel free to send any feedback.

Thank you and God Bless you all
Paul from Malta

[truth]

Hi Paul,

Welcome!

And thank you for reminding me of the best lasagna I've ever eaten - in a restaurant in St Paul's Bay... many, many years ago.

You will find many good souls on this site, all willing to share life’s experiences in order to learn and to grow. We will all have slightly different takes, because we are all different, holding different pieces to the same puzzle that is life; so please, post and post often. My take from your post was doubts. Don't worry, we all have them and, by the way, doubts are good... let me explain.

We learn and grow by living life and our learning never ends. The key is to view our life's learning as constantly moving forward and to never blame ourselves for past decisions; all decisions ever made were right at the time we made them; we can't change history and even if we could, goodness knows what the outcome would be!

In an ideal world of constant learning, thoughts pop into our heads that trigger questions, those questions are our cue to gain greater understanding of who we are and what we are doing, by going out into the world and seeking out the answers. However, we've not yet reached ideal status. We all suffer some form of insecurity around who we are and what we are doing in life. That area of insecurity is a breeding ground for doubts and confusion.

When questions pop into a head that isn't 100% stress-free (secure), those questions raise doubts; we doubt ourselves, because we don't know the answer; the stress is caused because we think we should know the answer. Further confusion arises because doubts raise questions on top of questions... creating greater stress in an already stressful situation... not good! It’s time to take control.

The first step to removing stress is to realise that we don’t have the answer, just yet. Paul, you’ve ticked this box by writing your post. The next step is to regain faith in who you are and what you are doing; reconnect to the love you have for yourself and your wife. Love and faith removes our doubts and opens our minds to our true questions. When we seek out their true answers, we gain depth of understanding; we truly grow.

Thank you so much for you post,
Pat

[Lyndell]

Hello Paul,
I was touched to the 'bone' with your post about 'religion' and the confusion 'it' has brought to your life. (Incidentally, don't you just love the diversity of the folks here...now you add Malta!! How wonderful to have you contributing to the energy here!)

It's been some time since I posted here, but I do check in frequently, and Paul, in your post you have expressed some of my on-going frustration with the organization of religion. I will tell you from the core of my heart, that the most well-meaning folks in the world are many times the most frightened. I participate regularly in my 'religion'...and I will state without reservation that more times than not, I feel a 'spirit' of goodness and light and joy while I am there in an attitude of reverence and meditation. It is being a part of the 'whole/holy' that stirs my soul. Perhaps that is the collective effort that we seek.

I so love the ancient scriptures; I read from many texts, often...and to see the 'light-thread' that runs through all 'lofty' belief systems causes wonderful feelings within me. Study never ceases to fill my lonely heart. That is what I seek...a continuing witness of truth from within. As I have read and participate in A Course in Miracles, as posted here by my friend Gene, and also read in the text and teacher's portion of that same work, I have experienced that same feeling of wonder at who we are, and rejoice at the Divinity of what I'm learning from Lyndell. Without sounding too bizarre and too, egocentric...what I mean is that reading your post stirred the part of me that is you. I truly understand. When I read Pat and her words I know that I know her, on a very personal level; so it is with Jenny Poo, and her ever optimistic posts of the love of her Lord, as it is with our sweet "littlebird." Reading what Gene is discovering through ACIM, I also feel that tingle, a chill-thrill that begins at my head and travels to the feet..grounding me. Ziggy brings a perspective I would never know without this site. In these times of discovery I know it is that 'same' spirit and feeling that perhaps is the 'draw' into religion as we attempt to define IT. About your friends speaking in tongues...I remember attending a similar meeting once as a young woman. What I labeled it then, I would hesitate to label it today, simply because I have learned that I know absolutely nothing. Because I have not been schooled in this belief, does it take away from the gathering of 'good' people seeking a common need? Surely not. Truthfully, it is doubtful that I would find such meetings to be a nourishing experience for me, only because I don't identify a need to speak in tongues to express my joy, or to share my experience with a spirit that is pure 'light.' I truly prefer a quiet way of meeting...a place where I can once again 'hear' my thoughts, and discern which thoughts are mine, which are 'his'...if it matters at all, and that can happen here in my home with my companion Mr. Tip alseep at my feet with pages of wisdom in my hands. I am trying to say, Paul, that personally, I probably would not find a revival type atmosphere conducive to feeling the presence of a 'still-small-voice' or the feeling that I identify as the Holy Spirit of learning and love. To me when the light bulb goes on...that is a soul light, that is my definition of joy. On the other hand...I know many who find joy in great and grand music...songs shared with great gusto..vocal praises for the experience and even shouts of great energy. It matters little how it is expressed or invited. Joy is sweet...always, as is truth, always!

Just a little more on this before signing off...one of the beauty's about James Redfield and his lovely wife, Sally, is their pure language. They possess a gift of tongues, in my opinion. Listening to their calls, and reading the books as published thus far, has had a 'ring,' or a resonance, if you will.... that is compatible with me. I can 'feel' their words, and in that experience, I can identify the part that is them, and the part that is me. That is such a comfort. This comfortable/higher place is the joy I yearn for...that exquisite experience of 'knowing' and 'remembering' my origin. It is the desire of my dreams. (Truly I am an old woman...who dreams.) As I approach yet another veil, and we all are approaching that veil in one way or another... I look forward to the experience of what James described in his first book...as the pure association of the pure soul; no guises, no ego's...just us, in love. That may be what your dear wife is seeking, and in the gathering of like-minds perhaps that yearning is being filled for her. Paul, it is my experience that these things we use as words, let us down. Speech, and expression often let us down. For example, I've made several attempts to share my heart's feeling with folks, here, as well as in my religious worship...and my offering has been interpreted as something preachy, even arrogant. I promise this was never my intention. I hope that this does not happen here in this post...because under no circumstances am I trying to preach or teach. I can do neither, but I do understand the dilemma created when we feel others label what they do not understand. In the end/in the beginning.. we are such powerful, wonderful beings, and the idea of the devil can be embellished by each of us adding our fear to that 'pot' of confusion. What I define as 'truth', my ecclesiastical leader might define as occult, and so I have learned to listen before offering what I have as truth. I know there is a God, and I know that that wonderous Being lives in me. By seeking the highest that is in us, I know we can recognize the 'highest' when we touch it in others. You will feel that here. Once in a while, I have been put in 'my' place here, but I tell you there are so many on this site, with such wisdom, that you will do well to read and learn from the masters who share their heart's experience here. Fear not, Paul. Seek truth no matter, because it manifests in such glorious ways. The journey is incredible, and who knows, it may take you right back to that little church with your wife and her associates. I have decided lately that I will not allow my enemies to define me, nor those who disagree with my philosophy. They are most assuredly, my brothers, and my sisters...no matter and for all eternity. Take care, Paul...and thank you for your sweet and sincere post. It was most refreshing. I'll check in often to see how you're faring.
Love from Lyndell

[paulpace]

Hi Lyndell, Thsnk you for your wonderful reply. Believe me it filled me with a huge sense of joy. I am vry much aware that I also had a big fear of the unknown (the prayers and ways of doing things at my wife's community in Bulgaria) but one realizes that although everything seems so difficult ( in my eyes) everyone gives love over there. Ok the way of expression is very different but ultimately it's LOVE to OUR Creator whom as you said is IN US! Wow wonderful; isn'tit the same concept as one would have a different piece of technology nowadays but yet there and again still doing the same thing; we use different phones and different pc's to commuincate but yet there and again we do! Well in my first 32 years of life I am learning and discoreing how immense is our existance (not physically but spiritually) I want to grow more and more in my faith and thirst for freeing myself from this conditional material world - be it money, commodities, the femminine advertised world, cars, carreers and all it takes. I do believe and feel it that one day I will be free from all this and in love with everyone!!!!! I just need people like you and all on this site to help me grow more and overcome the fears of my sins - as everyone I have them and although I say i don't want to do them I still do. At times it is just bigger than us and we do them without knowing. My wife is a world of love seeking perfection and since she has discovered or still is discovering Christianity (2/3 years ago) she is like a child learning her education. I do not blame her insistance of doing things the way people do them in her native land; actually that is something which can help me grow more and set me free! Be blessed Lyndell; surely you seem to be a woman of God and one day our souls will express many good things in perfection. Praise the Lord and love everyone paul

[truth]

Hi Lyndell,

My, you don't post very often, but when you do, it's more than worth the wait.

Thank you my dear friend, many will connect, learn and grow with the pure beauty of your post. Thank you for being you...

Pat

[Lyndell]

Dear Paul and Pat,
It's been an eventful week-end for me...a dear friend of mine passed through the veil, along with an Aunt who was on the other side of the spectrum and had contributed great saddness to my life. Odd how we view this event...death and the transition into another life-force/source. It is surely a significant 'thing' for all who will remember these folks and who have been part of their particular life-journies. We do leave a part of our 'self' with each other...of this I am sure. Now to truly understand...that part.

Thank you both for your lovely replies. I am honored. Pat, dear..it's always a pleasure to hear from you, and Master Paul...you're right on track. Take care of your sweetie...love is so precious. I'm here to tell ya, kiddo....life goes by in a twinkling....literally, and how wonderous it is!! It won't be but a moment until you are 'senior' and the only clue of that change is when you realise your body is taking more naps. Ha!!

Keep us posted, literally, on your learnings and your yearnings.
Sending Love to you from Kentucky, USA..the thoroughbred state
Your sister,
Lyndell

[littlebird]

Dear Lyndell,

You inspire me so much. Thank you for being a lovely lady of grace and goodness.

Love you,
littlebird
_________________
God is Love

[usernamealreadyinuse]

I have come from a background that was very haphazard as far as religions go. Sampling some of all of them. I speak in tongues when I pray sometimes simply so I can stop focusing on me and focus on what God needs me to pray about. My wife thinks this type of religion is weird and has a hard time with it, but any way a person can express and connect with the One the better they are. Let her travel this road so she can catch up to you perhaps. Try to learn more and pray together so you can uplift her instead of feeling challenged by her decisions.

I did not take the time to read everyone elses responses but I felt you needed to hear that it is ok to still perform rituals and practices in order to connect to the energy of God.

[Ziggy]

Paul, I have to say that you have some kind of energy that brings together good souls with lots of good advice. The angels that exist on this site have visited you with their love and kindness. The Pope called last week for a coming together of all religions to help fight anger, hatred and violence and in that there is so much hope for the future of all religions. In the end you are the cause and affect of your own inner spiritual existence and no one can change that. Find love, peace, kindness, sympathy and compassion for all points of view and there you will find God.

Listen to Truth and you will find it.

Listen to Lyndell and you will find it.

Listen to Littlebird and you will find it.

Listen to yourself and there you will find it.

I love you guys and thanks for helping me find it, you do not know how deeply you have affected my life.

Welcome Paul and enjoy the healing you can find here it will help you find your way.
Z
_________________
Touch Everything
Attach to Nothing
Shaman Ziggy
C.E.O. (Concerned Environmental Officer)
H.E.A.L. (Heal Earth and Life)

[Theressa]

Dear Paul,

Sometimes we get so worried about ways to connect that we don't end up connecting at all.

Also, depending on the level of your soul (its age) will depend how one worships. There is a great book out by Ainselli on Oprah's reading list who shows one how to calculate ones soul age.

Many who are interested in structured religions are newer souls whereas older souls are more able to see shades of gray and be more spiritual in nature. I worked out I am a level 9 and am interested in self development and people.

Anyway we learn alot here in our "Celestine soul family" so welcome.

Hello Ziggy, Gene, Little bird and Lyndell. and love to you all

Love
Theressa

[paulpace]

Dear all,

first of all I just wish to HEARTILY THANK YOU for sharing all the wisdom and good feelings in your writings.

Truly, checking the posts here is making me grow within the power of myself, the power of God All Mighty.

As days go by I feel I am changing; to the better as I am discovering that the real joy and happiness can be found when we find and get to know our own spirit; our own energy and desire to share love with everyone - in different ways, understandings and acceptance.

Lately I was going through one of the write ups and someone mentioned a book which was written by a married couple. To be honest I wish to get it but I forgot the exact name of the authors - all I remember is that the male is named Paul ( I think the book is "The Cure") but I am not sure.

Can anyone help me please - I cannot find also the write up and in which topic was this mentioned.

In the meantime; keep on loving and understanding each other - this is what the world MUST preach to humanity.

Love always
Paul