Control dramas

[Theressa]

Hi All,

I have experienced the indirect effects of someone elses CONTROL DRAMAS and I realise there is alot of power given over when someone uses Intimidation, violence and fear. Infact it can leave someone stuck and paralysed.

There is a man I love but, he is attached and miserable to a CONTROL FREAK. She told him if he ever leaves her, she'll kill him and me and she means every word of it.

It made me think of my friend who died. The only way she got away from a controlling partner who told her he'd never let her be with anyone else apart from him - was die.

Sometimes death is the only way out.

I wonder why the universe allows such horrible things to be?

Love
Theressa

[Ijustam]

Hi Theresa..certainly it is a predicament of sorts and one that many feel they have no control over, or rather feel powerless over. My belief is, that we do in fact have control over situations such as this, and we have choices. Albeit they are very hard to make, and often the victim will feel that it is NOT a choice. Yes, death is one way out of it, but i would also say, courage to depart this situation, is the answer. It doesn't come easy that's for sure, but, it does remain a "choice". Also, I cannot emphasize enough, that if those threats are used, perhaps calling the authorities/police/victims of violence support groups may be of assistance. The agressors main "point" IS to make it seem as if you are powerless to stop it...that is the illusion. The universe may well ahve presented this situation, and I do beleive until the one who is being victimized stops it, the lesson will continue....

Hugs to you dear one!
respectfully...

[kechoperi]

Dear Theressa, I am not sure that it is the universe that allows it. I think that we ourselves allow it.
The "controller" wants the "victim" to feel that they are weak because they know the reality, which is that the "victim" is almost without exception the strong one. The "controller" is just very good at creating the illusion of power and strength.
I speak as someone who escaped a controlling marriage and am now in a healthy, rewarding and happy relationship. I did take time out alone before I met my current partner and I did a lot of developmental work on myself to get to where I am now. I was able to do that because I am the strong one, although I believed the opposite before.
I am glad now that I had that time alone because it gave me the time to find out who I am, so that I was then able to look for someone who had the same valeus and was looking for the same things. I also had time to gain a picture of what a healthy relationship looked like and to make the decision not to settle for anything less.
I would much rather be single or alone than with someone who made me feel miserable. When I met my partner, I came from the position of someone who wanted a partner, but not needing one.
kech x

[Snoopyfan8]

Have you looked into that you and others involved in this control drama, maybe be here to break the cycle of this dynamic? That was the first thing i thought of when i read your post. It is a difficult situation to deal with, and fear is nothing - if you give it no power.

Be strong..God is everywhere and in everything..

It sounds like the agressor is scared, maybe of being alone, maybe of the thought of having to face their own lives in their aloneness. In our darkest hours is when we truly see light and hear the voice of God - our higher self and feel love.

We all are here to support you and send you loving energy.