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BridgeBuilder
Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 22
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 Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:00 pm Post subject: BridgeBuilder |
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Hello,
My name is BridgeBuilder. For most of my life, my spiritual path has been influenced by two fundamental belief systems, which some might view as polar opposites. On the one hand was my conservative Christian Fundamentalist upbringing and on the other were the influences of what was once called "the New Age movement" in the late 1970's and early 1980's. I first heard about New Age concepts from an older brother when I was about 15 or 16 years old, but in some ways, I had always gravitated towards more mystical belief systems and practices, without knowing how or why, even surrounding myself with crystals as a child (my "rock collection"). And even as a child and most certainly as a teenager, often I doubted about the fearful concepts of a wrathful and conditionally loving God, Satan and ever-lurking demons ready to pounce at any time and the ever-present prospect of eternal fiery torture in hell, all of which came to me through what I now see as thorough church indoctrination. I doubted even at a young age, even writing in a journal at the age of 13 "What if God is an imposter?".
The push and pull of what seemed to be virtually opposite belief systems were eventually too much for me, finding myself often bouncing dramatically between wonder and fear, on the one hand curious about (yet never really pursuing) things like Wicca and spirit guides and white light visualizations and on the other, terrified of the demons I had been told time and time again in my youth were deceptively lurking behind every corner, disguised with "counterfeit love". My endless internal debating over paths of love and fear continued without respite. I had stopped going to church at the age of 16, and even setting foot in a church was painful for me, yet I was too fearful of tales of deception to truly pursue any alternative belief system either. So after a while, I simply gave up. I pursued no spiritual path whatsoever. And that actually worked reasonably well for almost 20 years since I was free of the torment of indecision. I immersed myself in non-spiritual pursuits, never really satisfied or at peace, but at least not in torment either. I wasn't an atheist or even an agnostic, and I still had intuitive experiences here and there, but my focus was on the here and now in this world.
And then one day about 7 years ago, I received the news that I might have a very agressive form of cancer (after a medical test that was said to be about 95% accurate when showing this particular result). Further tests a few days later fortunately proved the first test wrong, to the apparent puzzlement of the person administering it (I have always wondered if the first test was just "wrong" or if the cancer simply disappeared). The experience itself of facing the possibility of cancer and the many hours of uncertainty left their mark. I had come face to face with my mortality, and it was abundantly clear I had no spiritual anchor to lean upon. Even worse, deep down there was a childlike sense of sheer terror that I could end up in hell, my earlier indoctrination taking hold. I found myself confronting intense indecision, fear and doubt.
For several months, I was in anguish, intrigued by the hope and wonder of so-called "New Age" philosophies (even though the term "New Age" was dated now), yet plagued by fears from my conservative upbringing. And I struggled with the concepts of good and evil and that basic question of why harmful things happen on this earth. Eventually I reached a crisis point and at the end of my spiritual rope, in tears I asked the Universe, whatever or whoever that might be, with a completely open mind, to "show me the way". And to my astonishment, my request was answered.
Within days, truly magical things began to happen, intense synchronicities, one after another, before I had ever read about synchronicities. A woman appeared in my life who invited me to coffee and boldly claimed to be a "human angel". She said she tended to show up for people when they were at a crossroads. I could have said "Yeah, right" and got up and left, yet I stayed and listened to what she had to say about how we were ALL human angels having an experience in the physical here on earth. For the first time, I heard about the concept that we are really eternal beings, aspects of the divine, who have chosen to have a human experience, on the brink of ascending to a new level of consciousness, to return to our true state while still in the physical (the latter concept of ascension already being comfortably familiar to me via my earlier New Age studies). And more importantly, there is NO judgement. "Eureka!", I thought. I had found it! I was so excited to stumble upon a philosophy that FINALLY made sense to me! It was like "love and miracles out of nowhere", the title of a favorite song of mine.
And indeed miracles were beginning to happen. Within days, I had what many might term a profound spiritual experience. And I realized how intensely I was loved, not conditionally based on my beliefs or actions, but UNCONDITIONALLY. Many things happened during that time frame, but one experience that stays with me even now was looking in the mirror and seeing the reflection of a galaxy in the iris of my eye, and truly knowing that we are much, much more than we can possibly imagine.
Yet still my tumultuous journey was not over, as the more magic and direct spiritual communication I experienced, the more I began to fall into fear. What if deceptive demons were behind these new philosophies, most of which came from channelers? What if my experiences were counterfeit? What if "demons" were communicating with me, just pretending to be loving? The old indoctrination took hold, and I rapidly tumbled out of a place of love into fear.
Thus began a very difficult period for me, during which I was once again torn between two paradigms. I also had a health challenge during this period, made even worse by my emotional state, and I was extremely vulnerable. Yes, I had witnessed the miracles, yet I didn't know their source, ever suspicious due to my upbringing. At one point I fully revisited conservative Christianity, repenting on my knees in the presence of others, even feeling a sense of release and love at that time. I went to a conservative mega-church where they believed the Bible is the inerrant "Word of God", attended Bible Study regularly, sincerely sought answers in that belief system. Yet the more I heard ministers proclaim the Bible to be 100% true and the more I studied it in detail, the more I could not accept that this was so. I raised very difficult questions during Bible Study, often in tears because I so wanted to believe, yet nobody had an answer. I could not accept that a loving God could advocate what I was reading in the Bible. And eventually I walked away from Fundamentalist evangelical Christianity once and for all. In retrospect, I know I needed to give conservative Christianity another chance so I could truly evaluate it and make an honest choice. This was about 6 years ago.
Over time, I evaluated other more liberal Christian views. I attended a Unity church for a while, mostly to participate in a weekly class where diverse spiritual ideas were discussed. I became involved in various online spiritual communities. It was during this time period that I discovered "The Celestine Prophesy", something I had actually heard about years before but had never had the courage to read. I read all of the Celestine books very quickly, and I found many confirmations in the insights of things I had already begun to experience.
And as I turned away from fear-based beliefs and focused on Love, miracles and blatant synchronicities began to come into my life once again. At times, I still fell into fear, but after literally standing at the gates of hell more than once, I FINALLY realized just HOW MUCH we are loved, and I knew I never needed to experience those fears again. For me, it seemed I needed to confront a fiery hell directly, yes indeed standing at its gates, before realizing how preposterous the notion really is in the presence of a loving Creator. Over time, I also learned a little about Gnostic views, which astounded me at first given their similarity to other concepts I had learned in "New Age" circles. But most of all, I finally began to find peace, something that had always eluded me. In fact, I had another brief health scare last year, similar to the first, only this time I passed with flying colors, with no fear of death or hell whatsoever. For I KNEW that I was LOVED.
One thing I have realized more and more is that the Love that binds the omniverse together reaches out to us in whatever way works for each of us, miracles included, as long as we focus on the Love. I have actually personally experienced this. When I was fervently pursuing evangelical Christianity, I experienced some miraculous things in support of that belief system, even synchronicities. It seems that the more you focus on the Love, no matter what your particular belief system, the more the miracles occur. And another thing I realize is that many who have come from a place of Fear are in recovery, myself included, and we need a spiritual support network to help keep us anchored in Love. Fear has a powerful voice, but the voice of Love is greater.
Today I am finally in a much more peaceful place spiritually. I have weathered many a storm, and Love is with me now. I continue to have profound spiritual experiences, and my spiritual journey never ceases to amaze me. My biggest challenge is keeping it in its place and remaining grounded, so powerful it can be. It has been several years since I read the Celestine books, although I did recently watch the movie, and I have participated in a couple of the teleconferences. I intend to read the books again soon so I can reflect upon them in light of my journey and experiences over the past few years. I look forward to contributing on a regular basis to this forum, since I believe my long journey gives me a rather unique perspective, the reason why I consider myself a BridgeBuilder.
Peace and Love,
BridgeBuilder
_________________
_________________
To build a bridge, it is not enough just to have an understanding of both sides of the river, although that is a challenge indeed. Only with the guidance of Love can one master the chasm in between. |
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Lyndell
Joined: 02 Oct 2007
Posts: 235
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:35 am Post subject: Personal Introductions |
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Hey Bridgebuilder,
This evening, my computer was still on and I had the thought to just check the forum, quickly, before curling up for a read. There was your wonderful accounting. Wow! If you do not write professionally, you should! That's as beautifully written as anything I have read, anywhere. My heart literally felt your confusion, and as noted as one of the other subjects here, several days ago, a question was posted concerning the definition of fear. My thought was simply...'it is the presence of confusion.' I've been afraid, too, and each time I was tumbled about in a mass of confusion.
You have nailed it....it is all about 'love.' I'm convinced it is literally the building block of universes!! Several years ago, I had a profound dream where words were literally part of a beautiful, flowing, violet arc-like swirl. (Forgive my poor effort in describing this...but it was a flow of sorts, not unlike a wave.) Within that colored 'wave' of movement were the words..."God's purpose is to bring unconditional love to the earth." The statement was in direct contradiction to what I had just heard in church....that the Lord's love is predicated on righteous behavior. I told one other person about this statement and what a lasting effect it had on my thinking. She printed it off for me, mounted it, and I have it here in my studio. The more I learn, the more I know that is 'truth.' Oh, to never be afraid again...to have perfect focus, and 100% vision. The website title seems to sum it all up..Celestine Vision...isn't it beautiful?!
Again, I'm blown away at the minds/spirits here. What amazing creations you are! I loved the appearance of your angel. Thanks a million for your story.
Now I'm off for a rest...unless I'm pulled here again.
Sending the best I have.......
Lyndell |
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truth
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 441
Location: Nottingham, England
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 11:31 am Post subject: |
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Hi BridgeBuilder,
A truly amazing journey and thank you for sharing it with us - good tingles aplenty along with reinforcement of my wish to help religious institutions evolve.
My own religious connection was only realised a couple of weeks ago, up until then it was something that I'd despised: preaching love, but encouraging fear. My realisation involved me understanding how religious institutions had evolved to this point in time, admitting that they'd done the best they could in the given circumstances and knowing that I was here to help them go forward in the right direction. It was my most painful confrontation to date, the pain and sickness only subsiding when I said the words to my husband, effectively cementing them into my heart.
I wish you well in your onward journey - do you know yet where it might take you? |
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JREILLY
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:49 pm Post subject: jreilly |
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| Thank you x |
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BridgeBuilder
Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject: Thank you! |
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| Quote: | | Wow! If you do not write professionally, you should! That's as beautifully written as anything I have read, anywhere. |
Thanks for your kind words. It's funny you should mention that, as it has always been my dream to write professionally. (I have done some technical writing professionally, but that's not quite the same thing.) Where I tend to write at the moment is on discussion forums like this (and some blogs in the past), but I have indeed seriously contemplated writing a book.
Earlier this year, a man who a lot of people respect in the spiritual community did a psychic reading for me kind of out of the blue. This man, who was doing a spiritually-oriented broadcast at the time, pointed at me and the person I was with and said "You two, come up here." And he gave us both readings, something he normally does as part of his broadcast. Before I go further, let me say that I'm quite discerning at such events. Some people idolize speakers of this nature and place them up on a pedestal. I tend not to do that, and I'm not a "follower" of anyone. I find truths in many places, and I know we are all in this together.
Anyway, during my reading, this man said I had "universal truths to share" which are currently locked up. He suggested they would be unlocked soon. This was last January. I was quite astounded and actually rather self-conscious when he said this since I'm a rather unassuming sort of person, and that places a bit of a burden on someone to be told in front of a bunch of people, in fact even on a worldwide broadcast on youtube, that you have universal truths to share. And then at the very end of the reading he said "Are you writing yet? You are a writer who heals with words.", as if he knew I would indeed be a writer. I was quite astounded by the entire experience. Afterwards, he invited us to lunch. After we had parked at the restaurant, I glanced up over where this man had parked. He had parked under a large billboard that said "LIGHT" and "Clear Channel". He laughed when I pointed that out to him and the others we were with at the time. That is an example of a "group synchronicity", always fun. 
The interesting thing is that I HAD indeed started writing, only it was in an unusual setting. I had been posting on a couple of conservative Christian web sites where they have open discussion forums talking to people of many different persuasions. It is their intent to "share the Gospel" in these places, but one day, I had a question for them all. My question was "How can you be happy in heaven if you have loved ones suffering in hell?" This one post has over 700 replies on one forum, and nobody has been able to adequately answer the question yet. And it has led to a great deal of subsequent discussions about many things having to do with Love versus Fear. So prior to this reading back in January, I had actually been writing and writing and writing, almost non-stop, conversing with these people online, doing my best to spread a message of Love and empowerment.
That in itself is a long story, the amount of time I have spent talking with conservative Christians since becoming awakened. In fact, when I awakened 6 or 7 years ago, I received some direct messages from Spirit regarding my having the opportunity to help people on the path to ascension, people who I might not expect, a very diverse group of people, and that I would be a "filler of gaps". It was not long afterwards that I came up with the name "BridgeBuilder". I'm cautious to make too much out of this, I'm sure I'm one of many bridge builders and gap fillers, so please don't take this as any sort of self-aggrandizement, I'm trying to sort through it still myself. We ALL have a special role, have you found yours yet?
Anyway, I had a bit of a conversation with Spirit at the time and even asked if I would publish a book, my dream since childhood. There was laughter in response to this and then an indication that I would indeed write, that several books might be in my future, but not right away. It was as if I was going to write something else, not a book. And not something I would be paid for. I didn't get it. "What?" I thought. "What could I write, if not a book?" This was before I discovered blogs and discussion forums, hehehehe. NOW I get it, as I have written A LOT in these places, in places you might not expect. I have probably written enough for several books, but not anything I've been paid for. For me, this is a confirmation.
| Quote: | | good tingles aplenty along with reinforcement of my wish to help religious institutions evolve |
Yes, seems I have a role there too. Any wonder we are talking? 
I'll tell you just a bit more. After that spiritually-oriented broadcast, a lot of things happened, it was an amazing night, too much to post about now, lots of synchronicities and not-so-little miracles jointly witnessed. At one point during the evening, someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life. And I said "I want to help them". (By "them", I meant people caught in Fear, including my own family.) My decision was made. On Monday when I returned from my weekend trip, my entire life changed. I lost my job, completely and totally out of the blue, a job that my boss had stated was very stable just the week before (although I had a premonition about losing my job 2 hours prior to it occurring). Of course, this was a rather scary development at first, and I was a bit upset, as I was supporting myself at that point (having left my husband many months previously and I was a single mom too). But then what seemed like a setback transformed itself into a wonderful opportunity. I was given the opportunity to move to a much better location, one of much higher vibration in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. And everything came together to bring me here, even a "dream house" I randomly discovered on a drive in the country one afternoon when I wasn't even looking (that's ANOTHER story in itself, hehehe, one just FILLED with synchronicities, I'll go on and on). And here I sit, writing to you in this place of beauty and high vibration, gazing at forests and misty mountains.
| Quote: | | I wish you well in your onward journey - do you know yet where it might take you? |
It seems it has taken me here. I wonder what is next? This is actually a great deal of fun! Are you having fun yet?
Peace and Love,
BridgeBuilder
_________________
To build a bridge, it is not enough just to have an understanding of both sides of the river, although that is a challenge indeed. Only with the guidance of Love can one master the chasm in between. |
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JREILLY
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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:D
Last edited by JREILLY on Sun Oct 07, 2007 4:22 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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JREILLY
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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There are many different spheres of realities like a Diamond!
What you choose to believe as your reality combined with your inner truth creates your time here on earth..thus you will begin to see others appear and disappear.....
Reaching that higher vibration creates a wave effect across of truth throughout the universe which takes us onto the rainbow path and stars and GOLDEN AGE......
Music has chosen me to set me free....
I feel the peace and harmony when i transcend...
I am learning to protect myself from the dense vibrations which can at times create a lonliness in me..
Through the eyes of a child i try to see our world.. :D |
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JREILLY
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:13 pm Post subject: Numbers |
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I am laughing and crying because if you look at the bottom of the forum index page on here...you will find the numbers 88 10 11 22 and the date today happens to be the 10th month and 7th day and 44 is my music number.......... So i have been led here by my Angels...
HI EVERYONE... |
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truth
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 441
Location: Nottingham, England
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| Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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Hi BridgeBuilder,
You asked, "Are you having fun yet?"
I can't say it's fun exactly...
Having experienced the sheer euphoria of discovering that for which I'd unknowingly searched for seventeen years, what I feel now is solid, more grounded and mature. Initially, the energy glow felt to me like a temporary passing wave, whereas now it feels as though the energy becomes part of who I am, and with each wave comes a greater sense of wholeness. It's magical and empowering - pure joy.
However, I think that I might be in for a bumpy ride very soon. I can feel in myself that I have a wealth of love to share, but something is holding me back. My awakening came about due to me working it out in a logical and reasoning manner, therefore, I can only deduce that my next stage is going to be an emotional one... me, well and truly letting go.
Should prove interesting!
Can you remember at what point in your journey it became fun?
By the way, I noticed on another of your posts that you are a Douglas Adams fan - I love that man and I feel a real connection with his work. Only the other day I was wiping down my shower and the words "The Way" popped into my head along with 'writing' and 'Douglas Adams'. I then went on to think that I'd been passed a title for a piece of writing. The very next day, I'm reading his Dirk Gently's Detective Agency and there is electric monk about to pass through The Way (capitalised). Too spooky!
Didn't you just love his concept of an appliance that could believe stuff for us... amazing! |
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michellepetkus
Joined: 16 Jan 2006
Posts: 809
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:22 am Post subject: |
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Sorry to butt in here but I can't resist. My journey became fun when I once and for all accepted myself as not perfect.
Michelle |
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