| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
manydos
Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
Location: MN
|
 Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:34 am Post subject: lost |
 |
|
Hello,
I am new to this forum. I was very excited to see that there is a movieout about one of my favorite life changing books. I read the book a few years back and it made a big differance in the way I look at things. I was also doing regular meditation, Reiki and Aikido. The last two years have thrown me back in to an old life style of closed doors. I got divorced and moved across the states and am trying to get back into the life I enjoyed prior to that. I want to get back into a state of love and consciencness any sugestions?
_________________
If you change your heart you'll change your behavior.
If you change your behavior you'll change your your habits.
If you chage your habits you'll change your character.
If you change your character you'll change your destiny. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
michellepetkus
Joined: 16 Jan 2006
Posts: 809
Location: Chicago, IL
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:02 am Post subject: lost |
|
|
Hello Manydos,
Your answer is right there.
| Quote: | If you change your heart you'll change your behavior.
If you change your behavior you'll change your your habits.
If you chage your habits you'll change your character.
If you change your character you'll change your destiny. |
Instead of focusing on what you have lost. At the closed doors. Look around at what you have. What other doors you may not have opened yet. And embrace this opportunity to start a new life with all its potential.
Sincerely,
Michelle |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
soul_express
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Sweden/Ireland
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
The last two years have thrown me back in to an old life style of closed doors. I got divorced and moved across the states and am trying to get back into the life I enjoyed prior to that. I want to get back into a state of love and consciencness any sugestions?
|
Hi Manydos
Nice to have crossed your path. 
tell me a little about your life prior to the this old life style. How did you feel when you lived that life?
Kristian |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
manydos
Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
Location: MN
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Kristian,
Thanks for your reply. When I lived and grew up in Mn I felt like I was always trying to please everyone. I had a very controling husband. Which made me feel I was not smart enough to think on my own. Then when I moved to CA and joined Aikido I found I could be myself and that in doing that I was more relaxed and could open up to things around me. Now that I am back in Mn I feel like I am giving up that free part of me and falling back into a controlled setting. For some reason I feel like I can't speak up and tell them how i feel. No sure why. I don't want to hurt their feelings and I feel like when ever I start to tell them how I feel they brush me off and don't want to listen now I am just keeping to myself and I don't like this. i want to feel that open freedom again Where I feel more in touch with myself and the world. Not sure if I am explaining this right. I feel like I am watching someone else. I know what I want and what I need to do to get that but I feel frozen to do that. frustrating!!!
_________________
If you change your heart you'll change your behavior.
If you change your behavior you'll change your your habits.
If you chage your habits you'll change your character.
If you change your character you'll change your destiny. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
manydos
Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Posts: 3
Location: MN
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Michelle,
Thankd you for the thoughts. I never thought of the past as a loss.. I guess because all of it, the movve and divorce where my idea so how could I consider them a loss if it is something I wanted . You have given me a new way of thinking of it and for that I thank you
_________________
If you change your heart you'll change your behavior.
If you change your behavior you'll change your your habits.
If you chage your habits you'll change your character.
If you change your character you'll change your destiny. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
michellepetkus
Joined: 16 Jan 2006
Posts: 809
Location: Chicago, IL
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 2:56 pm Post subject: lost |
|
|
Hi Manydos,
You have experienced a loss because a big part of your life had ended. It was an appropriate necessary end but an end none the less. I think your current circumstances though has to do with a subconscious view of who you think you are when in MN. Your perception of who you are is governed by a history you have with the people in MN. But you have also gained a certain level of self-awareness. By feeling like you are two people means your spiritual understandings have surpassed how you are acting. Basically what I am saying is you have grown past your actions/reactions to these people that you feel controlled by but you cant break the pattern because it is a habit for you to act this way around these people because it has always been that way. But the self awareness means that you have it in you to break the pattern. The thing to remember is you are who you are no matter where you live or who is in your life. Embrace that part of you that you discovered in CA. If you have to tell yourself everyday that is who you are then do so until you truly believe it with all your heart. Take ownership of that positive part of you and let go of your guilt about how you might react towards people who are treating you poorly. You don't deserve it and have a right to take a stand. Once you've done that whether or not they acknowledge you will be of no consequence to you because you know at the heart of you you are the loving person you discovered in CA and any negative behavior by other is not your problem or responsiblity. You are only responsible for you. So let go of your perceptions about how you use to view life in MN and then the new you will shine through.
Sincerely,
Michelle |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
soul_express
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Sweden/Ireland
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:08 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
Kristian,
Thanks for your reply. When I lived and grew up in Mn I felt like I was always trying to please everyone. I had a very controling husband. Which made me feel I was not smart enough to think on my own. Then when I moved to CA and joined Aikido I found I could be myself and that in doing that I was more relaxed and could open up to things around me. Now that I am back in Mn I feel like I am giving up that free part of me and falling back into a controlled setting. For some reason I feel like I can't speak up and tell them how i feel. No sure why. I don't want to hurt their feelings and I feel like when ever I start to tell them how I feel they brush me off and don't want to listen now I am just keeping to myself and I don't like this. i want to feel that open freedom again Where I feel more in touch with myself and the world. Not sure if I am explaining this right. I feel like I am watching someone else. I know what I want and what I need to do to get that but I feel frozen to do that. frustrating!!!
|
I understand how frustating that is. I go through something similar from time to time when I return home to my parents home. Seeing old connections brings back old ways of thinking.
"open freedom" sound like a wonderful feeling. Why don't you feel it more often?? Can you imagine how it would feel like for another as they feel this vibration coming from you!
you asked for suggestions on returning to a state of love
| Quote: |
tell me a little about your life prior to the this old life style. How did you feel when you lived that life?
|
You answered this a little differently than I expected. You told me your feelings on what you did, do or should be doing but shared little on how you felt you WERE, ARE or WILL BE. Did you notice this. You are very focused on doingness almost as if you believe you are the doingness.
May I impart this thought to you.
"You are not what you do, you are who you are."
I am not interested in what you do, I am more interested in who you are.
Take the feeling of open freedom for example.
Here is a typical person that struggles.
They have a memory of a feeling of "open freedom". Now instead of moving into that feeling, they separate themselves from it and imagine they have to be "doing" something, getting something or needing something to be that feeling again and the ego plays a big part as the advisor in the "doingness" part.
Now here is someone different that is not struggling.
I have a memory of what it felt like to be openly free, and I move into it. When I move into it, I act from there. I do things from the that feeling. As i do so, the feeling grows as I become more of that feeling.
There is little or no thinking involved. In fact it is very silent.
It only becomes difficult when the ego starts complaining and makes up a 100 reasons why you need its advice on what you should be doing.
But if you are determined, you realise you are far more free to be whoever you are and to act and do from there.
Doing is moving your hand in warm water to know you are in a warm bath. When it becomes a way of getting into a warm bath, doingness becomes a way to pretend that you are not already in a warm bath (ie you are not love). That is the job of the separate sense of self or ego. to use doingness in such a way.
Frozen is your ego thinking. The ego does but the soul "IS"
Start remembering times when you felt love and move into it.
Re-member yourself.
Kristian |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
