Relationship Balancing

[James Redfield]

As I?m sure you are aware, film affects consciousness more than any other artistic medium. Poems are lyrical and poignant, giving us moments of inspiration and clarity. Novels are rich with detail and stimulate our imagination. But no other medium does what an hour and a half in front of the big screen does: it immerses us totally in a different reality, acted out in living culture right there in front of us. Often, we emerge from the theater with the experience of that reality totally embedded, as though what happened, actually happened in our own lives.



How many times have you exited the theater, feeling as though you were still ducking from bullets, running from dinosaurs, or crying from an actor's pain, before you caught yourself and shook it off. A film is like taking on a capsule of true life experience, for better or worse.



Knowing this, we sought to write and film The Celestine Prophecy in a way that captured the essence of the book, but also elevated its reality energetically, and in a positive way. While the movie has some violent elements, it leaves the viewer with an awareness that is inspiring and spiritually affirming. In the best case, we wanted it to be transformative.



In this series of messages, I would like to share with you a bit of how we were, I believe, intuitively led to create these particular effects. To begin with, I?d like to say something about the movie?s tone. If you have already seen the movie, I?m sure you?ve noticed that, while it is an entertaining, action movie, it unfolds in a way where the explanations come later than in most movies. In our case, you see a prologue and then a series of scenes introducing the main character, John, that are not really discussed or made apparent right away. This is a structure that is similar to the book and creates what I call parable effects: deeper connections that are only gained with some thought on subsequent viewings.



For now, let?s just look at one of them: John?s relationships. As in the book, John is contacted by his old friend Charlene who tells him about the Prophecy. After that conversation, John acts as though he is romantically interested in Charlene and asks her a provocative question. But she immediately keeps him at a distance and mentions the number of failed relationships he has had since she?s known him--then suggests that he go looking for the Prophecy. While this passes quickly, it provides the psychological depth for much that happens in John?s growth later in the movie. What was John doing that destroyed so many relationships? Did he try to repeat the same pattern with Marjorie at Viciente? We find out later as he comes to understand energy, balance in a successful relationship, and the mystery of his true destiny. Do you see any relationship balancing going on in your own life?



James

[soul_express]

[Teri_S]

My focus is to relationship balance within myself. As John learns in the course of the story, the balance within is required before any other. As a single Mom, OR nurse, AF reservist, friend,etc.. one's energy can get spent very quickly. Learning to tap into the universal source of energy is key to maintaining. Of course as they say the first step to solving a problem is recognizing it..I'm still in step one! I occasionally am successful, and re-reading CP, finding out about the movie, this board -all suggest to me that I am making some headway in retrieving the last thing in my Pandora's box- HOPE! Believe me, with the day I have coming up..your message James and Kristian's response are excellent timing..

[sister goshe]

Mr. Redfield,



Regretably, what I have concluded from my experience is that too many women did not do as Charlene did in establishing a distance between John until he was really ready for a balanced relationship. Too many women give it up to men who aren't ready and then can't figure out what's wrong with the men when they can't carry themselves when the woman is down. Truth is they never learned. So they dump the guy and he's on to the next fool girl. Okay- I'm probably overgeneralizing. I'm sure they are some great men out there who don't depend on their women to do everything. Men who are dependable and strong on their own. Men who match women move for move. I just haven't met the man for me yet. I'm really glad Marjorie wasn't pathetic in the movie. Thanks, seriously.



Kristen's response was interesting. I find that when I am open and not having my own thoughts I pick up on others. It has happened twice this week. I also find that my boss looks at me when she's trying to remember something, as if I could pick up on a thought that isn't already floating around in her mind. That I cannot do. I have found I do better on tests when I keep up with everyone in the class sitting around me. I guess this may be telepathy that she's talking about with remembering.



But also- remembering Oneness... One is a lonely number. And integrating with others energy around me I have found to be very stressful- other people's realities rub off on me easily. I am trying to protect myself from people's projections of what they pre-conceive of me, based on their previous encounters. Most of the time I interact with people who are self secure, neutral and positive and we can grow in love together. But sometimes people, people see what they want to see on a neutral face. They actually see me react in the control drama they need help with in relationship balancing. This is a difficult posistion since I have to work hard to keep their reality from becoming mine. I do my best to avoid getting pulled into their control dramas and often tell them things that are hard for them to hear. I used to be an outgoing person. Now I am finding out what its like to be introverted. I guess this is balancing my personality.



I know eventually I will understand the whens and whos of expanding my energy and prayer fields and fending off control dramas without offending. I have to work into it slowly though because when I open up too quickly the world moves right in and bites. I am often humbled by my lack of tact and self-control. Concious evolution isn't easy.



I hope I've made some sense and what I've written is of some help to whatever conclusion you are trying to understand. Let us know if you have another brilliant revelation we can all learn from!



Thanks again for everything James, and a thank-you to your wife too!



Melissa
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Sister G0$he

[Strider]

I have not been in many relationships because I was afraid of breaking the walls down around my heart. I was scared. My fiance was more like John, having many relationships but none with unconditional love but she always felt that she needed someone around so she wouldn't feel lonely. I on the other hand felt comfortable in my lonliness because of my fear of giving my heart to someone. We have found each other, feeling like we have known each other for many lives, and we are completely comfortable and have both done something we thought we would never do... and that is completely giving each other our hearts.

She lived the life of John, many relationships but nothing fulfilling and always protecting herself from giving her heart. Her last relationship was a marriage that brought her to the lowest time of her life. She was emotionally abused but did everything in her power to keep the relationship together. She spent a few years bending over backwards to get the love of her husband but he never came around. Then she met me when she was near the bottom of her emotional stability. I was her guiding light. I was the person that gave her my hand to help her pull her out of her misery. It was the first light she had seen in her life for many years and it was my hand. I pulled her out and I am still helping her realize that she is a beautiful person and that she deserves the self respect and love that she recieves from me.

Anyways, we both needed to go through really distressing times to get ourselves together and it is the most amazing thing in both of our lives. I went through a many year drug problem and she went through many relationships that she thought were based in love but was really based in control over her. We have been together for almost a year now and we have the same spark we did on the first day and everyday that passes we get closer together and more walls around our heart we put up to protect ourselves from our past are breaking down.

What I am trying to say is... even though she is my soul mate... it took twenty years of pain, learning, for us to go through to make our thoughts and emotions in the right place for this relationship to work.

[sister goshe]

Why I didn't completely HEAR this in the movie before, I do not know...

Marjorie sets John free, free to have something real with Charlene...

Something was NOT meant to be between Marjorie and John that had been in the past. I understand now! And I do feel it happening in my life...like Marjorie said about John coming into her life like some sort of test.

I think when you recognize the new relationship as a test, then you're in the position to be the stronger teacher to the other. I think it was really wonderful of Marjorie to tell John that she recognized him as a test- therefore setting John free, instead of leading him on.

Their self control and ability to avoid sexual interaction in the movie is so admirable. Marjorie is a true lady.

My goal is to be a lady, to hold my ground amist each man's premature advances, so that when it's meant to be, my soul mate and I may truly be friends first. So that he may know me, and I him. So that when we come together it's in comeplete trust of our eternal commitiment to eachother, neither of us having any insecurities.

In retrospect, I have witnessed realtionships that should have been just for balancing that became sexual and then failed because they should have never gone that far.

It makes me wonder about the relationship I'm in now. I think the way to determine if he's the ONE or if he's just another relationship to balance is through my standards for myself. If we can't match eachother, if he's reluctant or closed to progressing toward the higher levels of awareness I live, then our progress together stops. Hmmm, but John was willing to make progress... how did Marjorie know? Was it just a gut feeling? Was it because she was just turned off by his mistakes? Was it a "memory" of the failure between them in their past? Was there a failure? Perhaps there wasn't, but their time together was fulfilled? Perhaps it's just a matter of time?

Phew... great stuff... just introduced the movie and book to a newbie- she's feelin it... the saga continues! Thanks again.
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Sister G0$he

[Natas]

14 years ago i met i guy. In the beginning we wore just friends, later our ego came in the way and we started to dont like each other. we both wore arogant in a terrible way.
13 years we did not had any contact at all. Then we met each other again. At that moment i was already helping people on a spiritual way. He heard what i was doing and he wanted to tell me some things. So he came to visit and we started to talk abouut spirits and other spiritual things. He told me he about some meetings and things.
And i told him what i saw throw my years of learning.
Then we both were getting some dreamd aboiut each other and we talked about it togehter. Before we knew we were talking for hours on the phone and on the couch in my house. The dreams told us that we alreadu kew eachother from diffrend life times, past lifes. We just connected. We became good friends ans our ego was gone to each other.
In the beginning afther 13 years, he was realy sugging my energy and i got tired. I told him what he was doing and i alsof could see how he was entering my energy everytime. Later it stops and we started to share our energy's. We found out in our dreams that we are soul mates. I alsof knew form other couples i met in my life that sometimes soulmates cant be together because they still have some issues form past lifes, sometimes by betraying each other in a diffrend life time. So i did not wanted to rush into a realitionship.
But later on we started to see each other a lot, and our friendship started to be a romance with understanding to each other. And we started to give balance to each other, with each other.
Now 14 years later afther we first met we are best friends, lovers and we are going to get married in 2008. In the past year we lost a child and it maked our stronger. We are connected by energy in every way you could immagin. We can see energy's from each other. I can see alsof others energy's for years already, and now he is started to se it too.
We found a balance in each other and are happy the way we go through our life and spiritual paths. We also use your pathes in the book for showing each other where we are with our consiones and explain others we meet us. We also teach with your guidlines to children, teenagers and grownups.
The movie woke up a lot of people in my surrounding. You see for years i was telling these ways, and no on understand. And now i could just let people see the film and they understand me better. They realy understand what im seeing for years, why im helping others to think positive in their lifes etc. And my fiancee helps me in that way also.
The poieple arround me who saw the movie wore staring at me with open mouth, but that is what you are telling us for years. And i was zo happy with teh movie and the books. It made it a lot easyier for me.

Thank you for makeing the movie and i hope that you film the 10 insight too.
At this moment im understanding the 11insight and it changed my life for ever.

thankx James

[9dragons]

I think one needs to be centred inside first and from that point,one connects with the universe.One then feels the overwhelming grandeur of the universe in one's true being,of contentment,balance,simplicity,honesty and so on.With that level of development,one is able to move seamlessly from situation to situation.If a person senses something is awry,that person needs to feel what the universe is telling them.One can talk about and can even be fooled by body language and all those illusuons and mind games people play.The moment one feels the trap or uneasiness,one should not push it.One must let go and let it be.

A old chinese adage:
To change others,one needs force
To change oneself,one needs wisdom.

One sees the need to know what to do even in times of danger and i see it very obviously in the show when some people choose to do difficult things and the others did not try to change or discourage them.Live and let live or in this case,love and let love be.If it blossoms then nothing in the world will hinder it,but if it is not meant to be ,let it go and not push it.
It is like a kite in the air.One cannot push it.One needs to hold it and when it encounters wind resistance,will it climb.Too much wind will also destroy it and too little,it will not take off.In that case,one needs to walk away from the kite and into the wind and with the combined effect of opposing forces(ying and yang) one achieves harmony and the desired effect.
I have used the kite and the wind as an analogy but i will let the readers figure out what the deeper meanings are cos the more one uses the analogy the more the insights will reveal itself.After all,isn't this all about the insights?
Peace and contentment
9 dragons

[omegadrax]

of my many relationships with women over the years, i believe that i entered into two relationships balanced. the first, was my first serious relationship and my balance was due to the fact that i was new to the whole concept and entered into the relationship with an open mind and open heart. i was unconsciously balanced because i hadn't been unbalanced. but since it was unconscious there was nothing i could have done to stop the ego battles and the eventual unbalancing and disintegration of that relationship after three and half years.

two years would pass with deep introspection and a trial and error approach to relationships. the failures refocused what i wanted in a relationship and i was able to meet the woman that would become my ex-wife. i was wiser and more experienced, but at the same time, i was becoming cognizant of my balance, but rather than seek to look inward and keep myself balanced, my ego looked outward. my ex-wife and i tried to use each other to maintain each other happiness and peace. like two people afraid of drowning, we clamored over each other undermining each others attempts to swim. we fought to maintain our own balance unconsciously and at each other's expense. we were together for eight and half years (married for five). now that we are divorced, we are able to see each other as independent individuals again and are able to be friends again.

in the four years post, rather than turn inward, i turned outward with the belief that i had just been selecting the wrong women. and each after the previous seemed to be showing the same "defect" leading to disinterest and dissatisfaction. they couldn't fix me; they couldn't even help me. then a quote kept surfacing, at first as a joke, and then more seriously. more and more of my friends were saying it. "the one thing that all of your failed relationships have in common is you".

then i met someone, who could have easily become my next ex-wife, if not my next ex-girlfriend. it sounds terrible to say it like that, but because i was putting my faith outward and so far my successes were at zero percent, why would i have any other perception?

then i met someone, who put me at a distance and saw me as the emotional tornado that i was. rejected, i cut a swathe through a few more relationships. then i was back and she put me a distance again, but this time, before i could fall back into my cycles, i read the celestine prophecy and saw what was happening and why.

the balancing i need to do needs to come from within. i need to learn to swim on my own and well before i can do an synchronized swimming. so, that's where i am now. unbalanced and learning.
_________________
I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

[Vidushi]

I have noticed a few patterns from the past that do crop up within my romantic relationships mostly. Sometimes I have past life issues that are reignited within my current relationships such as this particular past life issue of not having enough (I was a farmer who would hold onto his crops for dear life). Abundance and faith are two vital lessons I have learnt during my relationship balancing processes.

[susanmtns]

I saw CP movie about a month ago. Then I read ALL the books.

I did meet a JOHN actually and I didn't honor myself in the process. There was a connection with this man unlike anything I have ever experienced. He has a drinking challenge, can't seem to end his marriage (he has been separated for years). I became Ms. Fixer until it drained the life out of me. I even suggested he attend a meditation weekend which he did. I suggested books, even bought him a few which he barely read.

I am glad to be out of the relationship. He is seeing someone else. I have seen a few people since.

However, Spirit keeps coming to me and telling me that he will get his act together. This is anything but wishful thinking. The synchronicities abound but I continue to hold my space.

Funny thing is...This fellow's name is the same name as my former spouse. I have the same name has his separated spouse.Go figure.

I am involved in some meaningful work and my life is full. Until now I never completely understood what it means to have a relationship with self. Still, the thought of another relationship scares me.