Re-parenting Myself

[sparky]

I do have four children. Parenting is often difficult since I have not worked through all of my own "control drama" and ego developement.

I can say the best tool I have found in my own parenting is doing my own Inner Child work, reviewing my own wounds and childhood sensitivities
, along with all my childhood joys.

I thought it sounded selfish at first,"learning to love myself" but it has truly been the best gift I could give to my own children. As I take care of me I have more to give to them.

As I take care of me I am learning how important it is for them to know LOVE...how extremely important for me to stay focused and rise above my own childish "ego" and this has all given me a new meaning of parenting.

I am learning more every day,my love for my children is making me grow up "some." I also know I have lots more to learn, it scares me sometimes knowing I have made some serious parenting mistakes.the fear and guilt can rob my energy of re-parenting myself, which in turn robs my children even more.

I how today it is through the contrast that I have learned and pain is the touchstone of spirtual growth. I agree with the 2009 book just came out "The New Codependeny", sometimes the worse mistake I can make is giving my child all their egotistical "wants."

I created other serious issues by over-correcting the codependency problems I suffered in my own childhood and giving into my own childrens egotistical needs without giving them healthy parental structure.

Over loving them in way...perhaps enabling them from lifes lessens.

I am sure no parenting guru and have lots of re-parenting myself to do. My own parents were great and tried their best, we know alot more about parenting in the 21st century. perhaps that past statement just a form of denial,since in reality over-all my childhood really sucked? I missed out on alot of hugs etc...

Still Aloof
_________________
"Coincidences are the proof of the existence of God" Carl Jung

[SL]

Hi Sparky,

I really appreciate this post and the one you made in the course of miracles thread Gene started.

It is difficult, I know from my own experience, not to project onto our chidren. For me, it is really important to remember that we did not define them when we had them, we merely gave them some genetic information, room and board, the love we have/had available in the moments we share with them. They define themselves.

I hear you with what you said about your parents. My own Dad did not start hugging me until I was in my twenties. But he did, and does...

Hope springs eternal...

Peace
Steve