I have to be truthful here and tell you something up front: I have had many relationships that have ended badly, mainly because of my impatience or perfectionism. But the more I embraced the idea of having a giving attitude and communicating better, the more my relationships –romantic and otherwise — have improved.
Here are some fundamental ways to enhance your relationship, revealed by a recent study, that hit home for me in my experience.
1. Respect For Your Partner’s Point Of View
This one is crucial. Without respect in a relationship, you are often left feeling as if you are not being heard and valued as an equal. Furthermore, plain disrespect in the forms of put-downs, criticism, dismissal, disdain, or simple lack of courtesy, can quickly destroy any companionship. Disregarding anyone’s feelings can cause massive and permanent wounds to a relationship over time.
In addition, one must try as hard as possible to comprehend their partner’s outlook. Earnestly seeking understanding says, “I hear and acknowledge what you are saying. Even if I don’t agree with you, I do agree that you have a valid viewpoint and the right to feel the way you do.” Disrespect says the opposite, “Your opinions, thoughts, feelings, and needs are unimportant to me and our relationship.”
People in relationships who respect their partner’s point of view, often find they will compromise as much as possible, in an honest manner. Disrespect invites the rise of irrational CONTROL DRAMAS. This, in turn, causes two people to struggle for the control over the other, rendering it impossible for the relationship to have any equal leadership.
2. Display Kindness Instead Of Harshness
At some point, everyone in a successful relationship must compromise to share the power equally. Couples that can convey their differences with kindness, instead of harshness, pave the way for positive communication that reinforces their sense of “us.” However, even slightly raising your voice when bringing up an issue, will only provoke your companion to become frustrated or withdrawn.
According to most relationship experts, conversations often end on the same note they began, so practicing this technique often creates a contagious response from others.
3. Take Your Time With Disagreements: Most People Will Self-Correct
Most of us want to solve a problem or conflict immediately, but mistakenly, with an excessive sense of urgency that only heightens the tension. Be patient if you find someone has taken an unreasonable attitude. Accusations or demands can cause others to become even more uncompromising.
Simply state your point of view and leave it at that. You’ll find that the other person will self-correct, and later return with a more positive understanding. Furthermore, you may realize that it was you, all along, who was being irrational. If this happens to be the case, then you should seek to acknowledge your wrongdoings and absolve to be more mindful in the future.