I can choose my Actions (A): Possible actions I could choose might be to:
- Talk to the co-worker
- Hit the co-worker
- Threaten the co-worker
- Buy the co-worker a latte or flowers
- Be super, exceedingly sweet and polite to the co-worker
- Write a note or email to the co-worker – a very kind or very harsh note- all kinds of choices here
- Talk to the boss about the co-worker
- Talk to other coworkers about the coworker and try to get a team intervention
- And probably there are other actions I could choose
Or there are Inactions (I) I could choose:
- Ignore the coworker (not talking is an “inaction”)
- Leave the job (not being present is an “inaction”)
- Arrange my schedule so that I’m never present with the coworker (avoidance is “inaction”)
- Block the coworker – (avoiding interaction on email and other list-serves — which is another form of avoidance or “inaction”)
- And probably there are other inactions I could choose.
Or there are Reactions ( R ) I might choose:
- Flip out when the coworker talks to me
- Burst into tears when the coworker walks in the room
- Yell at my boss that the management always takes the coworker’s side
- Take a deep breath and slowly exhale when the co-worker comes into my presence
- Continue to do what I’ve always done in reaction to the situation
- And probably there are other reactions I might choose.
Knowing that I have all these choices of Actions, Inactions, and Reactions gives me some power to prepare for dealing with the coworker in a way that makes the situation better rather than worse. It helps me to be more effective, empowered, and courageous to change the things I can.
So, thinking about the kind of person I choose to be… (something I have control over) and thinking about the consequences of each of those actions, inactions, and reactions, (I might not have control over the consequences, but planning ahead can help me choose the best AIR for myself), and remembering to breath, I know I can choose to do my part in a way that makes the situation better for myself, the co-worker, and anyone else involved.
I hope you find this concept helpful.
Brightest blessings to you as you notice your own AIR! 🙂
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Special thanks to Amanda Salsman <3 for the graphics.