With change, you’ll likely have concerns (or fears) about what seems an uncertain future, and legitimately so. Change means that life will be different in some way. Rather than shove down your concerns, take a good look at them.
We aren’t given tools to deal with change. Instead, we’re taught to be reactive rather than proactive. We believe we have no control over how we feel, as if our emotions come out of left field. In fact, we do have the ability to decide how we feel, but we’ve been programmed to react in certain ways for a very long time.
Emotions don’t come in a vacuum; they come with a history. No one knows what it’s like to be you, to have had the life experiences you’ve had that created your particular unconscious beliefs, and a sense of the past or future. Transitions are a good opportunity to re-engage with your sense of self, investigate what stops you from moving forward, and/or create something new.
Taking control of your life is an inside job. It is a good idea to get support, but ultimately how you handle a transition is up to you. It can increase your confidence, create learning, and even help “rewire” old thought patterns that are unhelpful.
During a transition, I recommend the following:
Find some alone time to examine what you’re thinking and feeling.
If you don’t have to make quick decisions, don’t. Honor the transition.
Do a head and heart check. Ask: “How do I feel changed by this? What is the best
outcome? What can I do to make this easier?”
Try to find an empowered and/or optimistic twist to what’s happened.
Embrace yourself and practice good self-care.
Recall how you’ve handled transitions in the past. What worked, what didn’t?
Taking time with the questions above will make it less likely that buried emotions will arise with a vengeance later on. You can get a grip on what is real versus perceived fear. Remember, allow yourself to grieve for the past but make empowered plans for a new future.