We have a way of fearing change that affects our ability to flow from one direction to another. Transition can be a difficult thing for everyone, especially when we are blind-sided by it. But, we must remember that every event in our life has an important reason. Becoming aware of the deeper meaning of each life experience will help to ease our fears, so we can allow ourselves to grow from change.
I am sharing this article with you because it served to remind me that it is important to try to always find a silver lining. No matter how cloudy or negative the experience may seem, God has a purpose for your life. I believe, when you understand “change” in this way, you can find peace.
No one likes change. You’ve probably heard the quote, attributable to everyone from John C. Maxwell to Gandhi: “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” The message: change is hard, people need help adjusting to it, and with it comes opportunities.
We are hard-wired to find change threatening, for obvious reasons. Change represents the unknown. We might have to learn new skills or see things differently. Perhaps a change will require us to unlearn old behaviors. It knocks us off-kilter, and we don’t like to feel out of balance.
There are changes we need to adapt to on a daily basis. Your colleague is fired, and you have to pick up the slack. Someone cancels an appointment. These last-minute disruptions require you to shift gears and figure out how you’re going to handle the situation at hand. Though seemingly minor, even these changes may upset your internal sense of stability and tap into your fears or insecurities. If you have trouble handling these kinds of changes, ask yourself why and review the suggestions below.
Then there are the monumental life changes: pregnancy, childbirth, divorce, empty nesting, job loss, a move, or the overwhelming loss of a loved one. A change like that can feel prodigious, like something you can’t recover from.
Change is inevitable. Coping means balancing the reactive with the proactive, being present while processing what’s happened. I advocate being in “the now,” not the past or future, but that is difficult when you are faced with a big life change. You might need to let go of something from your past or the fantasy of what might have been. You have to tap into how you feel about what‘s happening. Often, none of this is welcomed or easy, especially because as women we tend to care for others first and don’t take the time to understand how experiences have affected our lives and hearts. We either slap an emotional band-aid on and move full throttle into “what’s next” or we grieve so intensely that we can’t pull ourselves out of it.